How to Avoid the Pursuer-Distancer Pattern in Your Relationship
How one spouse pushing for closeness while the other pulls away can trap a marriage, and what each person can do to…
from The Gottman Institute2 min read
Topic
Communication & Conflict
Talking well, disagreeing kindly and repairing after hard moments.
Assuming Positive Intent is a Relationship Superpower—Here’s Why
If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a couples therapist and organizational psychologist, it’s that many relationship conflicts emerge from a single…
from The Founders Foundry2 min read
The Negativity Thermostat: Why Adjusting the Temperature Early Can Save Your Relationship Later
Why happy couples notice and respond to small shifts in negativity early, and practical tools for resetting the emotional temperature of your…
from The Gottman Institute2 min read
The Secret to Love is Just Kindness
What decades of Gottman research reveal about couples who stay happily married, and why everyday kindness and responsiveness matter so much.
from The Atlantic2 min read
Accepting Influence: Find Ways to Say “Yes”
What it really means to be open to your spouse's views, why it is not the same as giving in, and how…
from The Gottman Institute2 min read
How to Deal with Differences in your marriage
Five short pointers for handling real differences between spouses, from honest discussion and ground rules to keeping outside voices at a distance.
from Muslim Marriage Advice2 min read
Understanding Must Precede Advice
Why rushing to fix your spouse's feelings often backfires, and how listening first, with open questions, builds trust and closeness.
from The Gottman Institute2 min read
Transforming Criticism into Wishes: A Recipe for Successful Conflict
How to turn a complaint about your spouse into a clear, positive request, so that conflict leads to understanding instead of defensiveness.
from The Gottman Institute2 min read
Mindfulness Tips for Hard Conversations
Gentle, mindful ways to stay respectful when conversations about divisive topics turn tense, whether at the family table, online or with loved…
from The Gottman Institute2 min read
What Does Trust and Commitment Look Like in a Relationship?
A wife of 25 years reflects on what trust and commitment have looked like in her own marriage, especially through illness, grief…
from The Gottman Institute2 min read
Relationships 101: What They Don’t Teach You in School
The case for learning relationship skills on purpose, drawing on long-term research about wellbeing, and where to begin with the Gottmans' basic…
from The Gottman Institute2 min read
Build Love Maps
Why knowing your spouse's inner world, from personal history to hopes, is the base of a lasting marriage, and how simple questions…
from The Gottman Institute2 min read