This is our summary of an article first published by Psychology Today (written by Shoba Sreenivasan and Linda E. Weinberger). Read the full piece on their site.
Read on Psychology TodayGratitude is easy to forget in the busy early years of marriage. This piece offers a warm reminder that thankfulness between spouses is not a nicety but a necessity.
Key takeaways
- Notice the effort behind small acts, and say thank you out loud.
- Expressed appreciation tends to spark more kindness in return, creating a positive cycle.
- Unmet expectations hurt most with those closest to us, so do not take your spouse for granted.
- Routine and comfort can slide into complacency; keep acknowledging each other's care.
What the article says
Psychologists Shoba Sreenivasan and Linda Weinberger describe relationships as living things that need regular nourishment, and they argue that gratitude is one of the most important sources of it. They define it as an attitude of thankfulness, which can be prompted by small gestures or by larger sacrifices, and they note research linking it to cooperation, physical health and personal strength. Yet close partners are often the people we forget to thank.
They illustrate this with a newly married couple. When the husband invited his parents to dinner in a hectic week, his wife prepared a thoughtful meal around her in-laws' dietary needs despite a major work deadline. He thanked her sincerely, and over the weekend found his own ways to ease her load, showing how appreciation invites more kindness. The authors list further benefits: gratitude shows care on both sides, signals that each person values the relationship, and encourages greater support over time.
They also explain why disappointment cuts deeper with loved ones. We expect help and kindness from those closest to us, so when it is missing we feel hurt, and that hurt can slowly wear a relationship down. Research, they say, links efforts to please each other and expressed appreciation with lasting marital satisfaction. Long-term couples can drift into routine and take each other for granted, which is why gratitude needs constant renewal.
Why it matters for Muslim marriages
Thankfulness sits close to the heart of Muslim life; we are reminded often to be grateful, both to God and to the people who do us good. In marriage this can feel obvious and still be forgotten. A simple thank you for a meal, a repaired tap, or patience on a hard day tells your spouse their effort is seen. As matchmakers, we often notice that families who speak with appreciation raise children who do the same. Gratitude costs nothing, yet it keeps mercy and affection alive between spouses.
Originally published by Psychology Today. Summary and reflections by the BeyondChai team.
