Most of life is habitual. You do the same things you did yesterday, the day before and every day for the last month. Habits, good or bad, make you who you are. The key is controlling them. If you know how to change your habits, then even a small effort can create big changes in your relationships. It is not the big things that end up changing our life, but the little things. Most people believe they have to make huge changes and take massive action, but it often isn’t necessary. The little displays of interest and affection can be more important than all the “active listening”. Here are 10 keys to keeping your husband content, satisfied, and happy with you.
1. Without quality time, your relationship will not survive. Carve out at least half an hour a night, and at least one day a month when you the two of you spend time exclusively together.
2. You will both need security, comfort. A good relationship is built on compromise and a great deal of give and take on both sides.
3. Keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell and show your husband how much you need him, but don’t cling, as that can make him feel trapped.
4. Encourage him to listen to you, by showing appreciation when he does. By the same token, show interest when he talks to you. Be aware that most men aren’t mentally programmed for conversation in the way women are. They need more silence and internal time.
5. Make him appreciate you. Don’t wait for a spontaneous compliment, but say something good about yourself and ask for his agreement.
6. Learn to do the one thing that is most likely to restore good feeling in your relationship – giving your husband a genuine, loving and approving smile.
7. Often those subtle quirks that first attracted you to your husband can, with time, turn around and become toe-curling annoying habits. Learn to love him with all his annoying habits.
8. Hidden resentments poison a relationship; so if something bothers you, say it. Remember that while men are wary of emotional conversations, they love to find solutions. Express your problem and then ask him to help you find the answer.
9. Learn that punishing your husband won’t work. It may make you feel better to give him a hard time, but it will actually make him dig his heels in more. A better tactic is to reward the things you like and ignore what you don’t like.
10. Instead of protecting the ego, protect your relationship.
Never forget to ask Allah ta’ala for the blessing of having a successful marriage that begins in this Dunya and continues on – by the Mercy of Allah ta’ala – into Jannah.