This is our summary of an article first published by Like A Garment (written by Yasir Qadhi).
It gently encourages husbands to express care through attention and thoughtful gestures, reminding readers that tenderness toward a spouse is part of faith, not an afterthought.
Key takeaways
- Many wives hope above all for a husband who is a true friend and companion.
- Listening with full attention often matters more than offering quick solutions.
- Affection should continue long after the newness of marriage fades.
- Small unprompted gestures, like a kind note or unexpected gift, keep warmth alive.
- Responding with care on hard days, such as arranging dinner, deepens the bond.
What the article says
In this excerpt from his book Like A Garment, Yasir Qadhi describes what many women hope to find in marriage: a close friend and companion who shares life's joys and hardships, values them as whole people, is strong in faith, and is ready to take responsibility for the household and the children's upbringing.
“true romance is nothing more or less than appreciating a woman for who she is, looking after her, and caring for her.”
Yasir Qadhi
He argues that a wife's primary need is emotional, and that husbands should keep in mind the hadith that the best of people are those best to their wives. Meeting this need, he says, brings reward, contentment and greater harmony in the home. The most effective way is to listen attentively and compassionately, recognising that a wife sharing a problem may want understanding rather than a fix.
Romance, he writes, comes easily in the early honeymoon period but often fades, which is where real effort begins. He outlines two kinds. Spontaneous gestures are small, personal surprises, such as a loving message or an unexpected gift. Responsive gestures answer a moment of need, like ordering food after a hectic day or simply sitting and listening when she is upset. He reassures men that romance is not beyond them, and cites the Prophetic instruction to be gentle with women.
Why it matters for Muslim marriages
The women we work with often tell us they hope for a husband who listens, notices and stays kind long after the wedding. This piece speaks to that hope in a faith-centered way, drawing on the Prophet's ﷺ gentleness with his family. Of course, emotional care flows both ways, and wives and husbands alike thrive when they feel heard and appreciated. For those still searching, how a prospective spouse listens, and how they speak about their own family, can be a quiet indicator of the spouse they will be.
Originally published by Like A Garment. Summary and reflections by the BeyondChai team.
