This is our summary of an article first published by Better Health Channel (Victoria State Government). Read the full piece on their site.
Read on Better Health Channel (Victoria State Government)A clear, government-run health site that sums up sensible relationship habits in plain language. Useful as a quick refresher for spouses at any stage.
Key takeaways
- Say what you need clearly; do not expect your spouse to guess.
- Raise concerns gently and show you have heard your spouse before responding.
- Balance each critical remark with many positive ones, and repair quickly after conflict.
- Look at your own part in a disagreement, not only your spouse's.
- Learn how your spouse best receives care, whether time, notes, gifts or a cooked meal.
What the article says
The Better Health Channel describes a healthy relationship as one where two people respect each other, communicate well and share rights and responsibilities equally. Ups and downs are normal, and it compares a relationship to a bank account: you need to keep making deposits if you hope to draw on it.
“Relationships are like bank accounts – you need to make deposits if you want to be able to make withdrawals.”
Better Health Channel
Its tips include stating your needs openly, raising issues gently and listening properly, perhaps taking a few slow breaths before replying. It notes that one critical comment needs about five positive ones to balance it, so remember your partner's good qualities. When a conversation goes badly, make repair attempts, such as apologizing, rather than withdrawing. Make time together a priority, look after your own wellbeing, value differences, plan your future together and support rather than blame each other. Accept that arguments happen and resolve them respectfully; the article identifies contempt, anything that makes a partner feel put down, as the strongest predictor of divorce. Stay calm or take time out, think in terms of us rather than you versus me, and examine your own contribution to conflict. It also encourages affection, learning how your partner likes to be shown love, having fun together, staying flexible and sharing power so both opinions count.
For the long term, it reminds couples that people change, so stay curious and up to date about each other, and treat friendship as the base of a lasting relationship. If something feels too painful to discuss alone, a counsellor can help.
Why it matters for Muslim marriages
Much of this advice reflects values Muslims already cherish: gentle speech, avoiding contempt, owning our mistakes, and consulting each other so both voices count. What the article adds is a practical shape for living them daily. We especially appreciate the reminder to apologize and repair quickly, and to learn how your spouse best feels cared for. Seeking help early from a trusted counselor, ideally one who understands your faith and culture, is a sign of commitment, not failure.
Originally published by Better Health Channel (Victoria State Government). Summary and reflections by the BeyondChai team.
