This is our summary of an article first published by Sound Vision (written by Dr. Aneesah Nadir). Read the full piece on their site.
Read on Sound VisionWe meet many people who prepare carefully for careers but not for marriage. This article makes a clear, faith-centred case for learning before the nikah.
Key takeaways
- Learn about marriage's place in Islam and the Prophet's ﷺ example in family life.
- Build skills in communication, managing anger and stress, and resolving conflict.
- Make dua for your marriage regularly, including at the nikah.
- Get to know a potential spouse in a halal way, asking and answering meaningful questions.
- Consider a premarital class, seminar or advisor, or a course soon after the wedding.
What the article says
Dr. Nadir argues that being a spouse and parent are among life's most important roles, yet few people prepare for them the way they prepare for a profession. Just as doctors, lawyers and social workers need specific training, future spouses need self-knowledge, a strong relationship with Allah, an understanding of marriage's purpose in Islam, and practical skills for a loving partnership and for fulfilling mutual responsibilities.
“Being a spouse and a parent are among the most important jobs you’ll ever have.”
Dr. Aneesah Nadir
She highlights several areas. Learn the Islamic guidance on marriage and the Prophet's ﷺ example in family life. Develop communication skills, since research identifies poor communication as a major problem for married couples, along with skills for managing anger, handling stress and solving problems. Make regular dua for your marriage. She also notes that the intimate side of married life is rarely addressed in mosques, leaving many couples underprepared.
She stresses doing your homework before marriage, because many marital struggles stem from mismatches in temperament, religious practice, goals, socioeconomic background or personality. Getting to know a potential spouse in a halal way, by exchanging questions and answers, ideally with a premarital advisor to help interpret them, can reveal compatibility. Finally, she urges the Muslim community to make marriage and family life education widely available through schools, mosques and social service agencies, encourages parents to value it as they do academic success, and recommends that newlyweds who missed it enrol soon after the wedding.
Why it matters for Muslim marriages
This article closely reflects what we see every day. Compatibility in temperament, practice and goals often matters more than a strong first impression, and structured questions, with family and a trusted advisor involved, help uncover it. Learning to manage anger and communicate kindly is part of good character, and it is far easier to practise before tensions arise. We encourage parents to treat marriage preparation as seriously as education or career planning, and to see a premarital course as a gift to the next generation.
Originally published by Sound Vision. Summary and reflections by the BeyondChai team.
