This is our summary of an article first published by The Muslim Vibe (written by Shauqeen Mizaj). Read the full piece on their site.
Read on The Muslim VibeRespect is something every family wants for their son or daughter. This article grounds it in the Prophet's ﷺ example and gives practical pictures of what respect looks like daily.
Key takeaways
- Respect means weighing your spouse's views, consulting them before decisions and taking interest in their life.
- Avoid rudeness, sarcasm, stonewalling and indifference, which steadily erode respect.
- Expect differences between you, and treat arguments as solvable rather than catastrophic.
- When tensions rise, pause, show patience and give your spouse room to respond in their way.
- Acknowledge and correct your own mistakes promptly.
What the article says
Mizaj describes marriage in Islam as a sacred covenant marked by equality, mutuality and warmth, citing the Qur'anic image of spouses as garments that protect, comfort and cover each other's flaws. Both husband and wife, she writes, have rights and duties and should work together for a happy home built on love, trust and compassion.
“Only a relationship with mutual respect and commitment with sincere intentions and efforts would survive the tests of time.”
Shauqeen Mizaj
She then argues there is a gap between religious ideals and reality, drawing on scholar Amina Wadud's critique of interpretations that treat women as inferior. In many households, she says, a wife's contributions are taken for granted regardless of her education or abilities, which is why mutual respect matters so much. She defines it as regard for your spouse's feelings, opinions and needs, and room to be themselves. In practice this means consultation, interest in each other's lives and willingness to adjust, along with avoiding rudeness, sarcasm and silent treatment. Daily stress can wear respect down, so admitting and correcting mistakes is essential.
The article also stresses accepting differences and working patiently, with sabr, to resolve issues. It closes with examples from the Prophet's ﷺ life: his partnership with Khadijah, an accomplished businesswoman whom he trusted deeply; his affection and open communication with Aisha, who became a scholar consulted by others; his help with household chores; and his teaching that the finest people are those kindest to their wives. Mizaj contrasts this with men who misuse religious texts to deny their wives' rights.
Why it matters for Muslim marriages
In our matchmaking conversations, respect comes up again and again, from men and women alike and from their parents. This article is a helpful reminder that the Prophet's ﷺ home was marked by consultation, affection, shared chores and genuine regard for his wives' intellect and work. Respect is shown in small habits: asking a spouse's opinion, listening without sarcasm and admitting when you are wrong. During the getting-to-know stage, noticing how someone speaks about and to others, including their own family, offers a clearer picture of the respect they will bring into a marriage.
Originally published by The Muslim Vibe. Summary and reflections by the BeyondChai team.
