Posted on Facebook by Qasim Rafique
- You’re obsessive. You’re too much and you love (get emotionally attached) too fast. You’re in love with the idea of being in love, and when you find someone that meets your bare minimum criteria- You dive in full force because being loved is better than being alone.
- You’re still not over your ex. If you’re not over a previous relationship or the idea of what could be, you’re not fit to be in a relationship with someone else.
- You hate being alone. And if you hate being alone and always need someone by your side, or someone to complete you, then you have some issues that need to be resolved. In order to be in a healthy, functional relationship- you need to be okay with doing things by yourself and being whole in your own.
- Stop being so stringent! Having a preference is totally okay, but shutting people down only because they don’t fit that preference ‘perfectly’ is pretty stringent. Hold yourself up to the same standards you hold everyone else to, and stop being a hypocrite.
- You want too much, too soon. Take a step back. How well do you actually know this person? Probably not very well. And the sad truth is, during the courting stage because of lax boundaries, flirtatiousness or even shared intimacy with this person has occurred, and you might feel close to them- but don’t let any form of intimacy with someone you barely know make you plan a future that won’t exist.
- Searching for a spouse merely for his or her attractiveness or socioeconomic status, the likelihood is that those attributes will be the sum total of the marriage.
- Ignoring red flags-When you start ‘courting’, it can be easy to ignore any red flags in your discussion stage and to focus on the positives, pushing any doubts about your compatibility to the back of your mind. And while it might be fun to stay blissfully ignorant for a while, there are some potentially toxic relationship red flags which you shouldn’t ignore.
- Lack of trust and patience in Allah (God), and not maintaining faith based principles.