This is our summary of an article first published by Happy Muslim Family (written by Irfan Ullah Khan). Read the full piece on their site.
Read on Happy Muslim FamilyMarriages can slip into routine. We picked this for its simple, actionable ideas and the way it draws on the Prophet's ﷺ warm example with his family.
Key takeaways
- Protect regular time with your spouse, even a walk or a cup of tea after a long day.
- Say thank you for the small, routine kindnesses that are easy to overlook.
- Take care with your appearance and hygiene for your spouse, husbands and wives alike.
- Keep complaints within the marriage and build a safe space to talk about feelings.
- Look after your spouse's honour and remind each other of good memories.
What the article says
Khan describes marriage as a sacred bond that both spouses must keep nurturing, since early enthusiasm often fades into routine. His first suggestion is to set aside time for each other despite busy working lives, citing the narration of the Prophet ﷺ racing with Aisha. He then encourages gratitude, pointing to the Qur'anic description of love and mercy between spouses and urging couples not to treat everyday kindnesses as owed.
“The truth is that the bond between a husband and wife in Islam is something that needs to be grown and cultivated with equal effort from both sides.”
Irfan Ullah Khan
Next, he asks both spouses to make an effort with their appearance, citing Ibn Abbas's remark that he adorned himself for his wife as she did for him. He recommends enjoying halal recreation together so that the couple remain companions and not only parents, and giving thoughtful gifts that show you have listened to your spouse's needs. He also reminds readers of the rights and responsibilities each spouse holds.
On communication, he cautions against taking marital complaints outside the home and suggests creating a safe space to discuss feelings constructively, sharing joys as well as worries. He asks each spouse to take responsibility for the mood they bring home, being gentle and forgiving of small mistakes, and to be positive and occasionally spontaneous. Using the verse describing spouses as garments for one another, he urges couples to guard each other's honour and dwell on good memories. His final tip encourages letting your spouse be themselves.
Why it matters for Muslim marriages
A marriage does not stay warm by itself. This article reminds us that the Prophet ﷺ made time for lightness and play with his family, alongside his great responsibilities. Small, regular efforts, such as a thank-you, a shared walk, a thoughtful gift, or simply guarding your spouse's reputation in front of others, add up. Many of the people we introduce are busy professionals, and we encourage them to talk early about how they will protect time for each other once the demands of work, family and children arrive.
Originally published by Happy Muslim Family. Summary and reflections by the BeyondChai team.
