This is our summary of an article first published by About Islam (written by Yasmin Mogahed). Read the full piece on their site.
Read on About IslamMany women quietly wonder whether they are powerless when a husband behaves badly. This answer insists they are not, and points to family, imams and arbitrators as real avenues for help.
Key takeaways
- The answer frames a husband's authority as carrying heavy responsibility and accountability.
- A wife can first advise her husband directly when he mistreats or neglects the family.
- If he will not listen, she can turn to an imam, a family arbitrator or a judge.
- Those in authority should accept correction, as Umar did when a woman corrected him publicly.
- The answer reminds readers that Allah hears and supports anyone who is wronged.
What the article says
A reader asks why husbands seem to have several steps for dealing with a wife's misconduct, while wives appear to have only divorce through khul, a harder process. Yasmin Mogahed, noting that her answer is not a fatwa, begins from the conviction that Allah is perfectly just and that any apparent unfairness reflects gaps in our understanding.
“A wife is not powerless. It is quite the contrary.”
Yasmin Mogahed
She explains that men and women are meant to complement one another, and that the Qur'an assigns husbands the role of protecting and providing for the family. That role, she stresses, comes with greater responsibility and accountability, including for the family's spiritual wellbeing. Using the analogy of a workplace or classroom, she argues that when someone in authority fails, those under them do not lose their voice; instead, complaints go to someone with authority over that person.
Applied to marriage, a wife should first advise a husband who neglects or mistreats the family, and if he refuses to change, she can take the matter to an imam, a family or outside arbitrator, or a judge. Mogahed presents this as a protection for wives rather than a limitation, and cites the example of Umar accepting a woman's public correction. She closes by reminding readers that the prayer of the oppressed reaches Allah directly, recalling the woman whose complaint about her husband is answered in Surah Al-Mujadilah.
Why it matters for Muslim marriages
No one should face mistreatment in marriage alone. This answer reminds wives, and the families who love them, that seeking help through trusted elders, imams or arbitrators is a legitimate and dignified path, not a betrayal. It also challenges husbands to see their role as a heavy trust rather than a privilege. As matchmakers, we encourage families to stay involved after the wedding as a source of fair, caring support, and to take a son's or daughter's concerns seriously when they come forward. Justice and mercy belong together in every home.
Originally published by About Islam. Summary and reflections by the BeyondChai team.
