In much of the world, it is very normal for couples to live together before marriage. However according to our Islamic views that is completely unacceptable. Majority of couples live together for the first time only after the wedding. Living together is completely different from the courtship and engagement period, and it can be a difficult adjustment for some couples. Here are ten tips to make living together for the first time easy.
1. Accept that the other person isn’t perfect
You can’t expect someone to be perfect. Both of you were on your best behaviour before the wedding. Now that the wedding is over, you both are relaxing into married life—and that means showing show flaws.
2. Don’t expect the other person to read your thoughts
She’s not a mind reader. She isn’t going to figure out that you’re angry because you hate the way she prepares dinner. If something needs to change, you have to discuss it.
3. Learn to let the little things go
Is it really important that he put his socks in the hamper tonight, rather than in the morning? Not in the scheme of things.
4. Be vocal about the big things
If there is some quirk or habit that is absolutely making your life miserable, you have to talk about it. These are the things you can’t just let go, that will drive a wedge between you if they’re not addressed promptly.
5. Learn to think of your relationship as a team
On a team, everyone helps everyone else. They work together. When you’re a team, you’ll work together to make your house or apartment a pleasant home for both of you.
6. Examine your own behaviour
If your spouse is doing something that annoys you, take a step back and look at your behaviour and how it might annoy her.1
7. Make time for each other
Spending time together is the only way to cement your relationship and create an environment where you can let the little things go and feel comfortable enough to talk about the big things.
8. Be quick to forgive
There will inevitably be arguments. Learn to swallow your pride and forgive.
9. Have your own space
Even a small apartment or home, you each should have a corner that you can retreat to if you need to have a moment alone. Sometimes you just need to breathe and absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?
10. Set guidelines
Especially if you live close to either of your in-laws, set some guidelines to ensure you two get to learn how to be a couple, without the constant influence of your families (however endearing their attention might be).
Image source: http://www.marijari.es/2016/03/24/sonet-116/