Effective communication is at the heart of every healthy happy and loving relationship.
When we think of effective communication, we often overlook one very critical aspect of communication. We focus on the verbal, non-verbal and listening aspects of communication. All of which are very important. But they are not the only aspects of effective communication.
The questions you ask your partner (on a daily basis if at all possible) hold the keys for the creation of an extra-ordinary relationship/marriage.
Following are three ordinary questions to ask your partner if you are seeking to create an extra-ordinary marriage.
1. Anything I can do for you today? This is such a simple question that creates happiness in your marriage. This question lets your partner know: a) you are thinking of them and b) you would like to be helpful to them.
It creates goodwill and an emotional connection rooted in the mundane activities of your shared lives. We all know that it is often the simple daily actions (and interactions) that are the very heart of healthy relationships (both personally and professionally).
2. How would you like to spend the weekend? Rather than focusing on what you want to do on the weekend (or whenever you have free time that can be spent together) — ask your partner what they would prefer to do.
Asking this easy question lets your partner know that you are not only thinking about them — but perhaps more importantly, you are prioritizing their wants, needs and desires! And who doesn’t want their partner to do that? After all, healthy relationships are not about “me”.
3. Can you help me understand? Since all couples fight, argue and disagree (this is true for people in healthy happy relationships) asking a non-confrontational, supportive question when engaged in any type of difference of opinion with your partner that seeks understanding their differing point of view goes a long way in creating harmony — even in the midst of differences.
This question promotes a very different approach and mindset regarding how to handle differences than what most couples do. That is, most people try to explain their point of view to their partner in a million different ways (and I know — you know — exactly what I’m talking about)!
Although understanding your partner’s perspective may not always resolve the issue – we know that what people want from their partner is to feel understood!
Asking these 3 ordinary questions:
1. Anything I can do for you today?
2. How would you like to spend the weekend?
3. Can you help me understand?
will create an extra-ordinary relationship.