Sometimes the most obvious things escape from our thought process that can bring about so much prosperity in our Marriage. We wanted to shed light upon some of these issues so you are aware of them and ultimately you are fully prepared for them.
Ask Allah for Help
This is one of the most neglected things today in our marriages as we think that we can do everything ourselves. To have a happy marriage your initial key to success is the help from Allah. Both partners in the relationship should make a concerted effort in asking Allah for his help and mercy in their marriage. Ask Allah to keep you loving each other, to keep you happy and to also pray for each others well being. Remember Allah in good times and hard times and remember that Allah is all wise and only he is the ultimate provider of success for you to have a happy marriage and family.
Status of Marriage
Understand that marriage is not just a contract of the regular world but a contract whose judge is Allah. Allah was the first to couple a pair of our father and mother together, therefore the level of marriage is supreme in status and it should be dealt in the same manner. Don’t look at it as a financial contract but rather a spiritual contract which involves the lives of not only yourselves but people close to you and your partner as well. When you realize the concept and magnitude of marriage you will deal with your spouse according to the most just of manners and treatment.
One Captain and One First Officer
Think of marriage as a ship, it cannot have 2 captains because then both of them will be trying to steer one steering. This ship is headed for disaster. There is supreme wisdom in why Allah has made the man in the marriage as the leader of the household. The wife should not feel inferior but rather cherish her role as the First Office who helps her Captain to steer the ship away from danger and towards prosperity. This should be implemented in all matters and aspects of your life. It is important for the husband to understand that any issue which requires a decision should be consulted with his wife so as to keep her involved and help you in making the best decision. This makes the marriage very successful as both are pushing in the same direction and the ship of marriage sails safe and strong.
Watch your Mouth
Don’t speak to each other with disrespect as this is one of the first tools of Shaytaan to carve a dagger through your hearts with hatred for each other. Remember Shaytaan has been around a lot longer than all of us and he knows more than we do and he is quite successful in his track record of breaking apart marriages, so beware of him and beware of vain or vulgar speech with each other. Instead use words of gentleness and kindness towards each other to eliminate the hatred and instill love for each other.
How do you want to be treated?
We have all heard this saying before and even some kids can tell you this saying “you should treat others as you would like to be treated”. Well the same goes for marriages and your spouses. Don’t forget that respect, kindness, love, forgiveness and tenderness are key issues. Work on these and build a strong foundation for yourselves with these traits. In fact discussing these traits and their importance with each other can be very productive towards your relationship.
Talk but don’t scream
Any issues that may arise don’t raise your volume but rather just keep your tone calm and collective. When the opportunity arises discuss with each other this etiquette of not screaming at each other under any circumstances as it can cause many problems in a marriage. It makes one feel disrespected and belittled.
Peace or War?
What kind of environment do you want in your marriage? All marriages have a peacemaker but there are times when the peacemaker is fed up of being the sole peacemaker. This is why it is of the highest importance that peacemaking should be the quality both of you posses and strive towards attaining. Don’t keep on fighting about issues and letting your egos getting in the way of who is going to make peace first. You are a nobler wife if you make peace first and you are a bigger man if you make peace first. Peace brings prosperity and war brings destruction!
Learn your Rights and Duties
Please everyone buy a book on understanding the rights and obligations towards each other as husband and wife under the light of Islam. Your life will become so simple and purified of so much animosity by this simple investment. Islam is beautiful and we have beautiful examples from the Prophet SAW and his wives on how we should treat each other in a relationship.
Satan is your enemy
Remember he is your enemy and he laughs when you break your marriage. There is a narration about Shaytaan that different shayaateen come to him saying of the bad deeds they made people do when he holds his court. When he hears of the one who broke up a marriage he gets really happy and invites that Shaytaan to sit beside him as he has done a noteworthy task for him. So remember he is your marriage’s enemy and it’s a responsibility for the both of you to protect it.
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