With the rate of divorces and separations on the rise all over the world, there is a universal question that everyone wants answered… “How can I have a happy marriage?”
While there is no definitive answer to the question, there are a lot of opinions and tips we can take from those who have been experiencing a blissful and happy marriage. The following are tips and guidelines that we have collected from various people and inshaAllah they will provide you with some benefit in your marriage. Try and learn from each other by posting what has helped you in your marriage and how you have helped make it happier.
Step One: Good Communication
This is the key to any marriage as well as any relationship. Sit down with your spouse and tell them exactly how you feel about a problem or certain situation. Not only share your ideas but learn to listen to what your spouse is saying. Know what you want to achieve from this marriage and where your life is headed and how each of you can help each other get there. Another important factor is to talk about what certain words mean to each of you. Words such as IMPORTANT, URGENT, ASAP etc. should be discussed, so that when one spouse says a matter is URGENT or IMPORTANT both of you know what time it should be completed in how high on the priority list it should be.
Trust is one characteristic of a person that when lost is extremely difficult to get back. In a marriage you share your house, bed, life and everything with your spouse,’ therefore your trust must be at the highest possible level. Ask yourselves what you can do to trust each other more and rely on each other more.
Never underestimate the power and importance of friendship. You should be able to be relaxed in each others company, be able to spend time together freely, share humor, do activities and enjoy each others company without having to worry about anything.
Healthy Sex Life
Research shows that marriage and specifically love increases the amount of enjoyment and pleasure one will have in their sex life. This factor is amongst the leading factors that can end marriages. Having a healthy sex life is very important especially for Muslims. We all have desires and need them to be satisfied. We have been commanded to do this in marriages and with our spouses only therefore it becomes important that we have healthy sexual lives. Talk to your partner about things that you like that your spouse does for you. Try and increase in foreplay and have fun with your partner. There are a few books available to increase your awareness, try reading the Muhammad Al-Jibaly series on intimacy. One might even want to try Sh. Yasir Qadhi’s Marriage and Sexual Advice series located at: http://likeagarment.com
Shared Hopes, Dreams and Goals
Muslims especially should have shared hopes, dreams and goals for their lives. We are commanded by Allah to protect ourselves and our families from the Hellfire. Part of this becomes a responsibility to develop goals and visions for the future. We need to understand where we want to be in 50 years and what we need to do to achieve those goals. We also need to plan for our future in terms of finances, the number of children, their education, their religious education, their sports and activities etc. Working together to achieve those goals will lead to a much happier marriage.
These are a few tips that we hope can help you lead a happier married life. Do share with us below any other tips that you may have.