Source: http://www.marriage.com/blog/relationship/what-really-happens-to-a-marriages-after-having-kids/
After enjoying a few years of marriage, most couples – women especially – look forward to kids and the joy of raising a child together. Families welcome a baby with great expectations too. As the couple’s bond with the child grows, it is likely that their relationship may deteriorate over time. While of course, this may not be the case among conscious couples who know how to prevent and tackle such occurrences. Such couples often address concerns as they come along, implement solutions together and really work as a team to nourish their marriages. However, among the others, this may not be the case. At least, this is what recent research says.
Having children affects a marriage
The finding of this research are conclusive. It reveals that the relationship suffers greatly after kids come along. As far as relationship satisfaction is concerned, the rate of the decline is nearly twice as steep for married couples who have children than those who do not. In cases where the pregnancy has not been planned, the couple are likely to experience an even greater impinge on their relationship.
Research further goes on to indicate that the idea that a child can improve the relationship and bring the couple closer and resolve marital distress, is a myth. The changes that a couple face after a child is born can be profound. Furthermore, it states that the relationship stress of having kids is present irrespective of marital status, gender orientation or level of income.
Who bears the brunt?
Moms do. This is hardly surprising though. Regardless of how cooperating the father is in the relationship, the mom remains the ón call’ parent who is most likely to be called upon in case of emergencies. Fathers, on the other hand, feel the pressure for financial responsibilities.
All these changes are likely to cause serious relationship strain within the marriage.
But, the question is:
If the arrival of children can cause so many changes in a marriage, can their departure mean it is good for the relationship?
This is debatable. Some marriages do get better after the children have grown up and don’t need much care and attention. For others, such an event can pose further challenges as the couple may then realize that they don’t have much in common anymore.
This could explain the growing trend of why many are choosing NOT to have children in the US. In fact, a number of women across the world, are choosing to not have them.
Despite the gloomy picture, there are several parents who rate parenting as their greatest joy. They are of the opinion that all the pain, hassle and suffering is worth it as parenting is also delightful and can be very rewarding. So what if it at the cost of their romantic relationship.