Last week Amina Ajmal took the witness stand against her father, Mohamed Ajmal Choudhary, in a New York courtroom. Choudhary is charged with arranging the killings of a young man\u2019s relatives because the man had helped Amina escape a \u201cforced marriage.\u201d<\/p>\n
It is alleged that, a number of years earlier, Choudhary had tricked his daughter into leaving their home in Brooklyn to return to Pakistan, where he forced her to marry a cousin.<\/p>\n
A \u201cforced marriage\u201d is one without full, free and informed consent. While the terms \u201carranged marriage\u201d and \u201cforced marriage\u201d are often used interchangeably, they are different.<\/p>\n
An arranged marriage involves family or community members introducing a prospective mate to an individual. In an arranged marriage, the decision to accept or reject the relationship remains with the individual.<\/p>\n
In a forced marriage, however, a person is married against his or her will, or that person lacks the capacity to give informed consent, due to age or disability.<\/p>\n
As an attorney with Sanctuary for Families, New York\u2019s largest not-for-profit agency serving the legal, clinical, shelter and economic needs of victims of gender-based violence, I have seen how the practice cuts across faith traditions, cultures and diverse geographic areas.<\/p>\n
According to the Council on Foreign Relations, the top 10 countries with the highest rates of child marriages are (in descending order) India, Bangladesh, Nigeria, Brazil, Ethiopia, Pakistan, Indonesia, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Mexico and Niger.<\/p>\n
Forced marriages run afoul of U.S., international and Islamic law. Just last week, as Choudhary\u2019s criminal trial unfolded in Brooklyn, on the other side of the Atlantic, Britain enacted national legislation formally criminalizing the practice.<\/p>\n
Still, some continue to coerce others into involuntary marriages in accordance with misplaced cultural traditions, and due to discrimination, poverty and ignorance.<\/p>\n
It can be difficult to discuss this issue in the American Muslim context, for a number of reasons.<\/p>\n
Firstly, in the post post-9\/11 era of heightened anti-Muslim sentiment, some community members worry that drawing public attention to such issues may inadvertently embolden bigots who are eager to demonize an entire faith community for the actions of a few.<\/p>\n
Secondly, forced marriages are vastly under-reported across faith and ethnic communities. They may be accepted as part of a cultural or family tradition, so they may be difficult to identify and challenge.<\/p>\n
Finally, many believe that cases like Choudhary\u2019s are not representative of Muslims in the U.S.<\/p>\n
That is true.<\/p>\n
Below, American Muslims from across the country share their stories of love and marriage as a matter of choice \u2014 as it should be. They are reflective of the more mainstream American-Muslim experience while also representing a model to be emulated by others.<\/p>\n
Maha and Anas, Queens, New York<\/strong><\/p>\n Maha Akhtar, 24, a graduate student in social work at the City University of New York (CUNY), first met her husband, Anas Myint, 26, back in college.<\/p>\n \u201cI was a sophomore and the secretary [of our Muslim Student Association] while he was a senior serving as treasurer,\u201d she recalls. \u201cMy first impression when he walked in a meeting was that he was a kinda-cute Spanish dude.\u201d<\/p>\n Anas wasn\u2019t actually Latino but an American Muslim of Burmese descent. As they became better acquainted while planning student activities, Anas developed deeper feelings for Maha. And eventually he told her.<\/p>\n \u201cAt first I didn\u2019t know what to think,\u201d reflects Maha, who just celebrated her one-year wedding anniversary with Anas. \u201cBut after a few days I thought it would be a good idea to give it a shot.\u201d<\/p>\n