{"id":3190,"date":"2023-09-17T18:47:50","date_gmt":"2023-09-17T18:47:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/?p=3190"},"modified":"2023-09-17T18:47:51","modified_gmt":"2023-09-17T18:47:51","slug":"11-secrets-of-matchmakers-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/2023\/09\/17\/11-secrets-of-matchmakers-2\/","title":{"rendered":"11 Secrets of Matchmakers"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Source: https:\/\/www.mentalfloss.com\/article\/503218\/11-secrets-matchmakers<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

By Suzanne Raga, August 18, 2017<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In an age of dating apps and casual hookups, matchmakers may seem like a relic from another era. But although they’ve been bringing people together since long before we were swiping right, matchmaking as a profession is still alive and well. We spoke to several matchmakers to get a glimpse at how their job really works, from their sixth sense for making matches to how they deal with picky clients.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. THEY\u2019RE ALWAYS ON THE CLOCK.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Whether they\u2019re shopping for groceries, waiting in a doctor\u2019s office, or traveling on vacation, matchmakers always have their eyes peeled for ideal partners for their clients. \u201cBeing a matchmaker is not a 9 to 5 job,\u201d matchmaker and dating coach Bonnie Winston tells Mental Floss. \u201c24 hours, seven days a week is more like it. My employees go home, but I never close!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Winston, who often works on weekends and evenings, also gives her clients dating advice before, during, and after dates. \u201cIt is not unusual that clients call me with inquiries about what they should wear before certain dates,\u201d she says. \u201cOr, I\u2019ll get calls in whispered hush tones\u2014secretly from bathrooms in dining establishments\u2014to ask me questions on etiquette, or if they can hook up with their date because they have great chemistry,\u201d Winston says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. THEY HAVE A SIXTH SENSE.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Romance is mysterious\u2014no one can predict whether two strangers will meet and fall in love. But successful matchmakers possess a high level of emotional intelligence and intuition that guides them in their work. Winston, who made her first successful match when she was 16 years old, says she just has a natural sense of which people would be good together. \u201cMatchmaking isn\u2019t something that can be bought or taught,\u201d she says. \u201cI will meet someone and just know when they are a good match for one of my clients.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. THEY\u2019RE PART THERAPIST\/LIFE COACH.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Matchmakers meet with clients, interview potential matches, dispense dating advice, and attend networking events. But some also perform background checks, administer personality testing, and build psychological profiles of their clients. The best combine a therapist\u2019s listening skills and objective perspective with a life coach\u2019s ability to motivate. Matchmakers may also interview their clients to determine why past relationships have failed, and help them formulate a strategy to achieve their relationship goals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. THEY\u2019RE MASTERS AT NETWORKING.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

The most successful matchmakers love people. Meeting people, listening and talking to them, and ultimately pairing them together excites and inspires them. In a Reddit AMA, three matchmakers at Three Day Rule explained that successful matchmakers are extroverts, and highly confident when approaching new people. \u201cYou really have to be able to walk up to anyone. We go up to people on the street all the time and say \u2018Hey, are you single?\u2019 so you have to be ok embarrassing yourself a bit,\u201d they write.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Besides speaking with people they encounter in daily life, matchmakers may also rely on their networks of family and friends. \u201cMy mother is one of eight siblings and I have literally dozens of cousins who are well aware that there is a \u2018yenta\u2019 in the family. I tap into those resources, too!\u201d Winston says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. THEY WISH PEOPLE WOULD BE WARY OF PHONY MATCHMAKERS.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Although some reputable organizations offer courses and certifications in matchmaking, matchmakers don\u2019t need any formal training to do their job. \u201cSome [of these organizations] are legit, but others are just about the revenue,\u201d says Jamie Rose, the founder, and CEO of Rose Matchmaking. Similarly, some matchmaking companies are more about maximizing profit than helping people find love. Scammers who start these matchmaking businesses take advantage of desperate, lonely people looking for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So how to tell which businesses are legitimate? Watch for these red flags: matchmakers who won\u2019t meet you in person, companies that have recently changed their name (perhaps to evade detection or create distance from angry former clients), sites that don\u2019t have testimonials (or where the testimonials seem fake), and companies that have many negative user reviews.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. OVERLY PICKY PEOPLE FRUSTRATE THEM.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Matchmakers get frustrated when clients have unrealistic expectations about love. \u201cThere is no such thing as a perfect match, and some people come in thinking that there may be,\u201d Rose explains. Clients may also have emotional blocks that get in the way of finding love. \u201cSome people say they want to get married but they don\u2019t really want to,\u201d Winston says. \u201cThey turn down every potential date for a ridiculous amount of petty and inconsequential reasons.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jennifer Hayes, the Director of Operations for South Carolina Matchmakers, adds that because bad relationships tend to harden people, matchmakers must encourage clients to keep their hearts and minds open to love. \u201cOne of the biggest hurdles we have as matchmakers is encouraging clients to stay open to the possibilities of finding love,\u201d she tells Mental Floss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. SOMETIMES THEY HAVE TO BE BLUNT.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

When a date goes poorly, matchmakers must walk a fine line between being honest and being tactful. \u201cMy least favorite part would be telling one client that another client wasn\u2019t interested in them,\u201d Rose says. Although most people don\u2019t enjoy getting rejected and hearing about their off-putting habits, it\u2019s essential that matchmakers be blunt with their clients. By speaking the truth in a kind yet firm way, matchmakers can build a trusting, productive relationship with their clients.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. DATING APPS CAN MAKE THEIR JOB HARDER \u2026<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Dating apps give people a huge number of potential matches at their fingertips, but most apps don’t vet matches\u2014and good results are not guaranteed. \u201c[Dating apps] make things so impersonal,\u201d Winston says. \u201c[Users] are deleting really good people forever so easily in seconds with their fingertips. And scratching their heads [about] why they can\u2019t meet anyone.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, many dating apps are free, while matchmakers charge for their services. Matchmakers say that free apps propagate the view that finding love shouldn’t cost anything, and thus threaten matchmakers\u2019 livelihood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. \u2026 BUT APPS CAN ALSO DRIVE CLIENTS TO THEM.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
\"An<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

While apps may be many people\u2019s initial foray into the dating world, a disappointing experience can lead unsuccessful daters to a matchmaker. \u201cHonestly I think [dating apps] impact [our industry] positively,\u201d Rose says. \u201cPeople who try those apps or sites see that they are about quantity, not quality, and then they research better options and find me,\u201d Winston adds that matchmakers slow down the online dating process. \u201cPeople who come to me are sick of swiping, scrolling, sexting, texting, getting poked, and being ghosted. They are burnt out,\u201d she says. \u201cI bring back old-fashioned courtship and romance.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Matchmakers also lend a human element that\u2019s often lacking in online dating. “We know as matchmakers that setting people up requires knowing them to some extent, and knowing people requires time. Unlike online apps we get to know our clients and build relationships with them so we can effectively match them,” Hayes says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. THEY MAKE CLIENTS LOOK THEIR BEST.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Visuals and first impressions play a huge role in dating, and good matchmakers help their clients improve their image. \u201cYou\u2019d be surprised how many people come to me with terrible selfies to find love!\u201d Winston exclaims. Because she owned a fashion photography agency, Winston stays connected to top photographers and hair and make-up artists, and she provides her clients with professional photoshoots. \u201cI want my clients to look their best while showing their authentic selves,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

11. THEY LOVE HELPING PEOPLE FIND TRUE LOVE.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

When matchmakers succeed in bringing two people together, they\u2019re ecstatic. \u201cI am joyful when my clients find joy in love. Especially when they immediately ‘click’\u2014I feel like I hit it out of the ballpark … a homerun!\u201d Winston says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rose adds that she enjoys changing people\u2019s minds about each other. \u201cI like when two people originally say no to one another, but you remind them of why they came to you. When that match works out you feel really good about it.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Source: https:\/\/www.mentalfloss.com\/article\/503218\/11-secrets-matchmakers By Suzanne Raga, August 18, 2017 In an age of dating apps and casual hookups, matchmakers may seem like a relic from another era. But although they’ve been bringing people together since long before we were swiping right, matchmaking as a profession is still alive and well. We spoke to several matchmakers to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2505,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1103,564],"tags":[608,1152,1151,1147],"class_list":["post-3190","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-beyondchai","category-featured-posts","tag-marriage-advice","tag-muslim-website-for-marriage","tag-online-dating-service-for-muslims","tag-single-muslims"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3190","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3190"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3190\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3191,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3190\/revisions\/3191"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2505"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3190"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3190"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3190"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}