https:\/\/hellorelish.com\/articles\/self-awareness-to-improve-relationships.html<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\nMost of us have a reasonable idea of what self-awareness is – an understanding and insight into our own internal world, and reactions. One way of defining self-awareness might actually be looking at what it is NOT – and we can sometimes see people who are completely oblivious to what is going on internally. This can look like someone who is reactive, prone to projection,\u00a0insecure, defensive, and unable to take responsibility for their own issues – and who may struggle to feel satisfied and content in their lives overall. Most of us exist on a spectrum of self-awareness, with some people deeply tuned into their internal worlds, and others completely oblivious – but it is a useful concept to think about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One area of our lives where self-awareness is almost essential is in relationships – whether this is\u00a0romantic\u00a0or platonic. If we have a good sense of what is happening for us emotionally and cognitively, it can be much easier to identify issues that have come up. For example, feelings of anger at our partner for being late home can be better understood as insecurity, and we can de-escalate the situation by reminding ourselves that we\u2019re likely responding to memories of a past relationship. Feeling angry at a friend for demanding a lot of our time can be understood as feelings of guilt and of being torn between wanting to support the friend, but also needing that much-cherished alone time to relax.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So – now we\u2019ve established that self-awareness is a key relationship tool – how can we make sure we have developed this skill and that we are using it to our advantage? Here are some useful tips:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Therapy<\/h3>\n\n\n\n For many people, the process of seeking therapy – whether this is\u00a0relationship therapy\u00a0or individual – is an unavoidable self-awareness rabbit hole. Even if you only seek help for anxiety or stress, a large part of the process of therapy involves examining our past experiences and seeing how they have shaped us, and how our thoughts and feelings intersect. This can be a very useful process if you\u2019re wanting to understand more about your own motivations and behavior – and therapists are trained to ask the right questions and deliver those \u2018aha\u2019 moments. For example, in talking through your previous choices of partners, you might discover a tendency to choose emotionally unavailable partners or those who are unlikely to hurt you – leading to a new awareness of your inner motivations, and the opportunity to do things differently next time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Coaching<\/h3>\n\n\n\n A less intense way to develop self-awareness is through coaching – whether this is\u00a0relationship coaching\u00a0or individual. Just like therapists, coaches are trained to ask the \u2018right\u2019 questions – but these are often more based around your values and goals in life. Many people who have had coaching will describe themselves as more intentional and mindful than before, and will feel connected to their inner drive and motivation – they will have clarified their goals and how these are going to help them achieve the relationship that they want. Coaching often helps people to connect with their big picture and raise their awareness of how their day-to-day lives contribute to this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n