{"id":2937,"date":"2022-02-06T20:00:35","date_gmt":"2022-02-06T20:00:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/?p=2937"},"modified":"2022-02-06T20:00:39","modified_gmt":"2022-02-06T20:00:39","slug":"the-ultimate-guide-to-making-a-great-first-impression-even-online","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/2022\/02\/06\/the-ultimate-guide-to-making-a-great-first-impression-even-online\/","title":{"rendered":"The Ultimate Guide To Making a Great First Impression (even online)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><br>First impressions are everything. You only get one chance to introduce yourself. Learn the science of first impressions to make yours count.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>First impressions are everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The science proves it: most people make a first impression of a person within 7 seconds so you have to make it count. In this post, I want to teach you 21 science-backed strategies to make an incredible, lasting, captivating first impression.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<div class=\"flex-video widescreen youtube\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Make Your First Impressions Count\" width=\"1170\" height=\"658\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/GWQRFMlvAVc?feature=oembed&#038;showinfo=0&#038;rel=0&#038;modestbranding=1\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>How did I just do on mine? Good? Well, you\u2019re still here, so good enough. Let\u2019s dive in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Whether you\u2019re at a networking event, pitching your boss, or schmoozing at a party, you have to nail that first interaction\u2026 Because you might not get a second chance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In this guide you will learn:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>how to make an awesome online first impression<\/li><li>why first impressions can make or break you<\/li><li>6 surprising statistics about first impressions&nbsp;<\/li><li>21 steps to nail your first impression every time<\/li><li>How to overcome a bad first impression<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Let\u2019s create an awesome first impression.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Why Are First Impressions Important?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><br>A good first impression can land you a job, build stronger relationships, and even attract a partner. With a great start, you can strengthen your relationships and make future interactions go smoothly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Studies have found that, on average, our first impressions of people are 76% accurate. This means we are pretty good at creating gut instincts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How long does it take to make a first impression?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Research shows that most people make a first impression of a person within 7 seconds. Experiments by Princeton researchers even suggest that people can make accurate judgments of others within 1\/10 of a second.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Here\u2019s the good news<\/strong>: You have control over the first impression you make.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How to Make a Good First Impression Online<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Nowadays, many people are making online video calls or emails a top priority. Whether you\u2019re applying for a work-at-home job position, writing a professional email, managing a virtual team, or giving an online presentation, here are some tips that apply to the virtual world so you can make a great first impression:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<div class=\"flex-video widescreen youtube\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"No More Awkward Video Starts: 5 Tricks to Making a Great Impression on Video\" width=\"1170\" height=\"658\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/lMet-LWMp-0?feature=oembed&#038;showinfo=0&#038;rel=0&#038;modestbranding=1\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p> <\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Step back<\/strong>. Who likes seeing a face up-close? A good rule of thumb is to keep your camera back at least a foot and a half.<\/li><li><strong>Wave hello.<\/strong> Since you can\u2019t shake hands, my go-to is to wave hello. Waving is a great way to show friendliness and a great way to start any video call. It also shows your intentions and builds trust.<\/li><li><strong>Choose a clean background.<\/strong> Dirty clothes, unorganized shelves, and peeling paint\u2014these can all give the wrong impression.<\/li><li><strong>Add front lighting.<\/strong> Have you ever gotten on a webcam and looked like a villain straight out of a Marvel movie? It could be due to your lighting. Professional light setups make sure lighting is in FRONT of you so your face is brightened. You don\u2019t have to go professional, but whatever you do, make sure the light isn\u2019t behind you.<\/li><li><strong>Look at the dot.<\/strong> Most people make the mistake of looking at the screen. But there\u2019s a problem: no eye contact! Look straight into the webcam when saying your hellos to make a great first impression.<\/li><li><strong>Wear pants.<\/strong> You won\u2019t believe how many people wear inappropriate shorts to a business call. Or even worse\u2026 no pants at all! Wearing appropriate attire not only gets you in the right mindset, but it also saves you from a potentially embarrassing situation.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019ve done hundreds (or even thousands!) of video calls like me, you might even be feeling video call fatigue. Luckily, we\u2019ve got expert advice to combat Zoom fatigue, as well as more tips to perfect your next video call.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And what about your social media account? After you\u2019ve made a good first impression, maybe you exchanged LinkedIn \/ Facebook \/ Instagram accounts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But by the time you go home, the other person likely has already pulled up your account and browsed through your profile. This can be a blessing and add points to your overall first impression\u2026 Unless your profile looks something like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scienceofpeople.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Screen-Shot-2020-08-11-at-10.36.01-AM-1024x169.jpg\" alt=\"A LinkedIn profile with embarrassing description\" width=\"597\" height=\"98\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How to make a good first impression by email<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Of course, I\u2019m sure you already knew this, but grammar is super-important in emails. Grammarly reviewed 100 LinkedIn profiles of native English-speakers in the consumer packaged goods industry. The findings?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Professionals with fewer grammar errors in their LinkedIn profiles were promoted to higher positions. <\/strong>The ones who didn\u2019t make it to director-level positions made 2.5 times as many grammar mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Fewer grammar errors correlate with more promotions.<\/strong> The professionals who only had 1 to 4 promotions over their careers made 45% more grammar errors compared to those who received 6 to 9 promotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But you probably didn\u2019t need a study for you to know that grammar is important. Some people, like Kyle Wiens, CEO of iFixit, won\u2019t even hire people who use poor grammar. Check your emails for proper grammar using tools like Grammarly\u2014it might mean the difference between inviting someone out for lunch and eating them!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">6 First Impression Statistics You Should Know<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Numbers speak a lot more than words. Here at the Science of People Research Lab, we conducted a survey asking 209 people their opinions on first impressions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are the important statistics you should know:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow\">\n<ol><li>95% of people believe first impressions are very important.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scienceofpeople.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/788276_FirstImpressions_150dpi_1_081320.jpg\" alt=\"Pie chart of the question, &quot;I believe first impressions are very important.&quot;\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<li>61% of people believe they can instantly spot a \u201cphony\u201d the minute they meet him or her.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scienceofpeople.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/788276_FirstImpressions_150dpi__2_081120.jpg\" alt=\"Pie chart of the question, &quot;I can instantly spot a \u2018phony\u2019 the minute I meet him or her.&quot;\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<li>79% of people believe they usually or always make a good first impression.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scienceofpeople.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/788276_FirstImpressions_150dpi__3_081120-1024x577.jpg\" alt=\"Pie chart of the question, &quot;I believe I make a good first impression.&quot;\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<li>68% believe their first impressions of others are accurate.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scienceofpeople.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/788276_FirstImpressions_150dpi__4_081120-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"Pie chart of the question, &quot;I believe my first impressions of others are accurate.&quot;\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<li>44% of people say the first thing they notice are the eyes when meeting someone.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scienceofpeople.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/788276_FirstImpressions_150dpi__5_081120-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"Pie chart of the question, &quot;When you first meet someone what is the first part of the body you notice?&quot;\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<li>40% of people say it takes them 7 seconds to make a first impression.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scienceofpeople.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/788276_FirstImpressions_300_040721-1024x576.png\" alt=\"Pie chart of the question, &quot;I believe it takes me ____ to make a first impression.&quot;\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Step #1: Thin-Slicing<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><br>When it comes to first impressions though, it\u2019s not just body language and your clothes that matter. Research shows that your facial features play a huge role in how people perceive you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scienceofpeople.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/f9b1c7091e068430f4eef8bc7cbf2e714de14fb9-2-1024x572.png\" alt=\"Will Rogers Quote, &quot;You Never Get Another Chance To Make A First Impression.&quot;\" width=\"513\" height=\"286\"\/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Watch my video to learn more:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<div class=\"flex-video widescreen youtube\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"How to Make Accurate Snap Judgments of People\" width=\"1170\" height=\"658\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/E1LVe3PgAHQ?feature=oembed&#038;showinfo=0&#038;rel=0&#038;modestbranding=1\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Other studies have found that we not only decide if we like someone in the first few seconds, but also that the first impression stays with us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Princeton University psychologist Alex Todorov had people look at a microsecond of video of a political candidate.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Amazingly, research subjects could predict with 70% accuracy who would win the election just from that microsecond of tape.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>This tells us that people can make incredibly accurate snap judgments in a tenth of a second.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scienceofpeople.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/789787_FirstImpressionsFaceGraph-02_081720-807x1024.jpg\" alt=\"What Your Face Says About You Chart\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Making a good first impression is incredibly important for you because you only get one shot at it. I know this sounds harsh, but as humans, we are conditioned to judge people within the first second of meeting them\u2014and our opinion often doesn\u2019t change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is called thin-slicing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n<div id=\"accordions-2944\" class=\"accordions-2944 accordions\" data-accordions={&quot;lazyLoad&quot;:true,&quot;id&quot;:&quot;2944&quot;,&quot;event&quot;:&quot;click&quot;,&quot;collapsible&quot;:&quot;true&quot;,&quot;heightStyle&quot;:&quot;content&quot;,&quot;animateStyle&quot;:&quot;swing&quot;,&quot;animateDelay&quot;:1000,&quot;navigation&quot;:true,&quot;active&quot;:999,&quot;expandedOther&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}>\r\n                <div id=\"accordions-lazy-2944\" class=\"accordions-lazy\" accordionsId=\"2944\">\r\n                    <\/div>\r\n\r\n    <div class=\"items\"  style=\"display:none\" >\r\n    \r\n            <div post_id=\"2944\" itemcount=\"0\"  header_id=\"header-1644172178160\" id=\"header-1644172178160\" style=\"\" class=\"accordions-head head1644172178160 border-flat\" toggle-text=\"\" main-text=\"&lt;strong&gt;What is thin-slicing?&lt;\/strong&gt;\">\r\n                                    <span id=\"accordion-icons-1644172178160\" class=\"accordion-icons\">\r\n                        <span class=\"accordion-icon-active accordion-plus\"><i class=\"fas fa-chevron-up\"><\/i><\/span>\r\n                        <span class=\"accordion-icon-inactive accordion-minus\"><i class=\"fas fa-chevron-right\"><\/i><\/span>\r\n                    <\/span>\r\n                    <span id=\"header-text-1644172178160\" class=\"accordions-head-title\"><strong>What is thin-slicing?<\/strong><\/span>\r\n                            <\/div>\r\n            <div class=\"accordion-content content1644172178160 border-1px\">\r\n                <p>Thin-slicing is when we take a mental snapshot of someone and guess their competence, confidence and likability in less than a second. Researchers think this is a survival mechanism that we have developed to decide very quickly if someone is friend or foe.<\/p>\n            <\/div>\r\n    <\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n            <\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So how does thin-slicing work? And why do we do it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Malcolm Gladwell\u2019s book, Blink, points to 3 important principles of thin-slicing you should know about:<\/p>\n\n\n<div id=\"accordions-2946\" class=\"accordions-2946 accordions\" data-accordions={&quot;lazyLoad&quot;:false,&quot;id&quot;:&quot;2946&quot;,&quot;event&quot;:&quot;click&quot;,&quot;collapsible&quot;:&quot;true&quot;,&quot;heightStyle&quot;:&quot;content&quot;,&quot;animateStyle&quot;:&quot;swing&quot;,&quot;animateDelay&quot;:1000,&quot;navigation&quot;:true,&quot;active&quot;:999,&quot;expandedOther&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}>\r\n                <div class=\"items\" >\r\n    \r\n            <div post_id=\"2946\" itemcount=\"0\"  header_id=\"header-1644172178160\" id=\"header-1644172178160\" style=\"\" class=\"accordions-head head1644172178160 border-flat\" toggle-text=\"\" main-text=\"&lt;strong&gt;#1: Snap judgments save us time and energy &lt;\/strong&gt;\">\r\n                                    <span id=\"accordion-icons-1644172178160\" class=\"accordion-icons\">\r\n                        <span class=\"accordion-icon-active accordion-plus\"><i class=\"fas fa-chevron-up\"><\/i><\/span>\r\n                        <span class=\"accordion-icon-inactive accordion-minus\"><i class=\"fas fa-chevron-right\"><\/i><\/span>\r\n                    <\/span>\r\n                    <span id=\"header-text-1644172178160\" class=\"accordions-head-title\"><strong>#1: Snap judgments save us time and energy <\/strong><\/span>\r\n                            <\/div>\r\n            <div class=\"accordion-content content1644172178160 border-1px\">\r\n                <p>We don\u2019t judge without reason\u2014thin-slicing helps.<\/p>\n<p>Gladwell gives one example of the psychologist Nalini Ambady, who found that if she gave college students a silent two-second clip of a teacher to watch, they could then thin-slice the effectiveness of that teacher.<\/p>\n<p>And the most interesting part is they came to the same conclusions about the teacher as students who sat in class with that teacher for an entire semester. This study shows that most of the time, your gut feeling may be right. If you\u2019re walking down the sidewalk and another person approaches you, your gut instinct may kick in\u2014and perhaps, it could even save your life.<\/p>\n<p>I want you to think about how you\u2019ve thin-sliced someone in your own life:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Have you ever had a gut feeling about someone\u2026and found out later you were right?<\/li>\n<li>Have you ever had a good feeling about someone\u2026and found out later you were wrong? What happened?<\/li>\n<li>From now on, pay attention to your gut reaction the next time you meet someone new and then follow up with your gut. Were you right? Wrong? Start learning from your mistakes.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n            <\/div>\r\n    \r\n            <div post_id=\"2946\" itemcount=\"1\"  header_id=\"header-1644173250318\" id=\"header-1644173250318\" style=\"\" class=\"accordions-head head1644173250318 border-flat\" toggle-text=\"\" main-text=\"&lt;strong&gt;#2: Your judgements about others can be changed&lt;\/strong&gt;\">\r\n                                    <span id=\"accordion-icons-1644173250318\" class=\"accordion-icons\">\r\n                        <span class=\"accordion-icon-active accordion-plus\"><i class=\"fas fa-chevron-up\"><\/i><\/span>\r\n                        <span class=\"accordion-icon-inactive accordion-minus\"><i class=\"fas fa-chevron-right\"><\/i><\/span>\r\n                    <\/span>\r\n                    <span id=\"header-text-1644173250318\" class=\"accordions-head-title\"><strong>#2: Your judgements about others can be changed<\/strong><\/span>\r\n                            <\/div>\r\n            <div class=\"accordion-content content1644173250318 border-1px\">\r\n                <p>One of the most fascinating examples in the book is with Dr. John Gottman. He runs a \u201cLove Lab\u201d at the University of Washington and has been able to apply thin-slicing to videos of married couples talking, and turn them into a remarkably accurate marriage predictability tool.<\/p>\n<p>If he watches a couple talk, not fight, just talk, for an hour, he has a 95% success rate in determining if they will still be married in 15 years. Yet, even if he watches for just 15 minutes, that rate is still at 90%.<\/p>\n<p>Now, you might think Dr. Gottman is a savant when it comes to this kind of thing, that he has great gut instincts for interpersonal dynamics.<\/p>\n<p>Not quite. It all boils down to what he calls, \u201cthe four horsemen:\u201d<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Defensiveness<\/li>\n<li>Stonewalling<\/li>\n<li>Criticism<\/li>\n<li>Contempt<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The one that really sticks out to Dr. Gottman, the feeling that can be thin-sliced out of all the thin-slicing is contempt.<\/p>\n<p>What he really does, and teaches his students to do, is look for that tell-tale sign of contempt. When you\u2019re able to focus in on one thing and know what you\u2019re looking for, separating the signal from the noise so to speak, suddenly the answer appears.<\/p>\n<p>To illustrate the point, Dr. Gottman\u2019s divorce prediction test was re-worked and broken down by a group of psychologists. They came up with a list of things to look for, including the four horsemen, and then gave the videos and lists to non-experts.<\/p>\n<p>These non-experts watched the videos in 30 second chunks, twice, using their list of things to look for and then were asked to predict.<\/p>\n<p>The results?<\/p>\n<p>The non-experts hit a just over 80% accuracy rate on which marriages were going to still be going strong in 15 years.<\/p>\n<p>So, not only can thin-slicing be taught, but it turns out (unsurprisingly) we all have a little bit of it inside ourselves already. In fact, many of the experts were able to teach either Gladwell or someone else how to thin-slice effectively without incredible amounts of time or effort.<\/p>\n<p>This plays right into the concept that we can actually tap into our unconscious and learn how to use it more effectively. The key is learning what exactly to look for. Here is what contempt looks like, a simple one-sided mouth raise:<br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/WlrCfzI55io\">Contempt Microexpression<\/a><\/p>\n            <\/div>\r\n    \r\n            <div post_id=\"2946\" itemcount=\"2\"  header_id=\"header-1644173409139\" id=\"header-1644173409139\" style=\"\" class=\"accordions-head head1644173409139 border-flat\" toggle-text=\"\" main-text=\"&lt;strong&gt;#3: We have inherent biases&lt;\/strong&gt;\">\r\n                                    <span id=\"accordion-icons-1644173409139\" class=\"accordion-icons\">\r\n                        <span class=\"accordion-icon-active accordion-plus\"><i class=\"fas fa-chevron-up\"><\/i><\/span>\r\n                        <span class=\"accordion-icon-inactive accordion-minus\"><i class=\"fas fa-chevron-right\"><\/i><\/span>\r\n                    <\/span>\r\n                    <span id=\"header-text-1644173409139\" class=\"accordions-head-title\"><strong>#3: We have inherent biases<\/strong><\/span>\r\n                            <\/div>\r\n            <div class=\"accordion-content content1644173409139 border-1px\">\r\n                <p><strong>Bottom line:<\/strong> People have their own inherent biases, so sometimes it might feel like a never-winning task to make a good first impression, no matter how hard you try. Don\u2019t be hard on yourself! But that\u2019s no excuse to be lazy. There ARE techniques you can use to change the way others perceive you, so you can have a slight edge when people make their snap judgments. But first, let\u2019s turn within.<\/p>\n            <\/div>\r\n    <\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n            <\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Step #2: Self-Evaluation<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Let\u2019s be totally honest right now. When people first meet you, What do you think they think of you? In other words, how do you think you come across?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>If I had to describe my first impression in one word, I would say people see me as _.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Did you pick a positive word? Or a negative word? Our survey shows these were the most common words chosen:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Friendly (18)<\/li><li>Quiet (10)<\/li><li>Nice (9)<\/li><li>Confident (8)<\/li><li>Shy (8)<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scienceofpeople.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/788275_ToxicPositivityWord_150px_2_080720-2-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"Bar graph of responses from the question: &quot;If I had to describe my first impression in one word, I would say people see me as...&quot;\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Now ask yourself this question:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>If I had to describe my ideal first impression in one word, I would want people to see me as _.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Our results show that most people aspire to be:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Confident (21)<\/li><li>Charismatic (16)<\/li><li>Friendly (14)<\/li><li>Interesting (9)<\/li><li>Kind (9)<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scienceofpeople.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/788275_ToxicPositivityWord_150px_1_080720-2-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"Bar graph of responses from the question: &quot;If I had to describe my ideal first impression in one word, I would want people to see me as...&quot;\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Is there a big gap between where you are now and who you want to be? If there is, you can work towards your goal by finding a role model and developing the habits and mindset that he or she has.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Step #3: Ideal Firsts<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Have you ever played the board game, Perfection? It\u2019s the game where you have a bunch of different shapes with the goal of fitting them inside their respective holes. I loved this game as a kid\u2014I could literally spend hours fitting in the colorful yellow pieces and taking them out again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Why am I talking about a little kids\u2019 game?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because much like these different shapes, you can\u2019t make a good first impression with EVERYONE if you\u2019re a triangle and you\u2019re trying to fit with a square.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s why you always want to start on the right foot by first <strong>setting your intention<\/strong> before meeting new people\u2014such as in conferences, networking events, or parties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As you get ready to meet someone, think about what kind of people you want to meet and what kind of interactions you want to have. This can be an incredibly grounding experience and works very well to focus what kind of energy you want to have for your event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Remember\u201461% of people believe they can instantly spot a \u201cphony\u201d\u2019 the minute they meet him or her, so your best bet is to avoid people-pleasing and be the best version of yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Right now pick your ideal first impression word.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When people first meet me, I want them to see me as_______.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Having this intention clearly in your mind will help you come across as that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Step #4: Hands First<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Where do you look when you first see someone? I asked the audience this in my TEDx Talk and most people said: eyes, face\u2026 and shoes. But the answer is\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<div class=\"flex-video widescreen youtube\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"You are contagious | Vanessa Van Edwards | TEDxLondon\" width=\"1170\" height=\"658\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/cef35Fk7YD8?feature=oembed&#038;showinfo=0&#038;rel=0&#038;modestbranding=1\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Hands! Two important things to note here:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>We LOVE seeing someone\u2019s hands right away. It makes us feel safe. So whether you are on video, in a restaurant, or walking into a crowded party, keep your hands out of your pockets and visible. Ideally give a little wave.<\/li><li>We also love hands to gauge understanding. When you speak with your hands, we are able to comprehend and remember more.\u00a0<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In fact, we analyzed thousands of hours of TED talks and found one striking pattern: The most viral TED Talkers spoke with their words AND their hands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The <strong>least <\/strong>popular TED Talkers used an average of 272 hand gestures during the 18-minute talk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The <strong>most <\/strong>popular TED Talkers used an average of 465 hand gestures\u2014that\u2019s almost double!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Hands can be flying around the air, frozen to the side, or as floppy as a fish trying to get back into water. But the masters of hand movements use the right movements\u2014and they use them frequently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<div class=\"flex-video widescreen youtube\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"7 Powerful Hand Gestures You Should Be Using\" width=\"1170\" height=\"658\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/zn2iRG7bI2I?feature=oembed&#038;showinfo=0&#038;rel=0&#038;modestbranding=1\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Step #5: Use the Eyebrow Flash<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>The eyebrow flash is a commonly used greeting people use when they recognize each other\u2014it shows you are happy to see them.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s also universally-recognized even in isolated tribes, according to a 1989 study. The Peases mention that monkeys and apes use it, suggesting that it\u2019s an inborn, evolutionary gesture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But you can also use it when meeting new people. This gives them a feeling of familiarity and closeness, since people typically only use this gesture when they know each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here\u2019s how to do the eyebrow flash:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>When you first see someone you want to make a good first impression with, make eye contact and immediately raise both your eyebrows.<\/li><li>Make it a quick up-and-down\u2014hold it for too long and you\u2019ll risk looking like a scared deer in the headlights.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here\u2019s the <strong>Golden Rule for eyebrow flashing<\/strong>: always make sure to eyebrow flash the people you like or who you want to make a good impression with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Step #6: Put On a (Real) Smile<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Here\u2019s a simple task for you: Smile! Oh, c\u2019mon. As a professional behavior investigator, I can tell you\u2019re not really smiling. Really smile this time\u2014I know you can do it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Well, how did you do? If you\u2019re like most people who are forced to show their pearly whites\u2026 you did what most people do\u2014fake a smile by pulling up the corners of their mouths.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But I\u2019m going to teach you how to replace your fake smile with a real, genuine one so people actually FEEL good when they see you. And the trick is actually quite simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>According to our survey, 33% of people said a person\u2019s smile was the first thing they noticed in a first impression.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>First, here\u2019s what a fake smile looks like vs. a genuine, real smile:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-9d6595d7 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"flex-basis:100%\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-9d6595d7 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"flex-basis:90%\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns alignwide is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-9d6595d7 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"flex-basis:50%\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scienceofpeople.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/Vanessa-Fake-Happy.jpg\" alt=\"\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"flex-basis:50%\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\thttps:\/\/www.scienceofpeople.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/Vanessa-Happy.jpg\" alt=\"\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-9d6595d7 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"flex-basis:100%\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Can you see the difference? On the left picture\u2014sure, I\u2019m smiling and you can see my pearly whites. But my eyes are saying, \u201cOh no. Not YOU again. Please, can someone come over and save me!?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>On the right picture\u2014my mouth is in a full grin, pulling my cheeks up so much you can even see the crow\u2019s marks around my eyes\u2014or what the science world calls the \u201cDuchenne Marker\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Here\u2019s the key difference<\/strong>: The Duchenne marker is what separates most fake smiles from real ones. And here\u2019s a juicy, top-secret hint (please don\u2019t let it get in the hands of your enemies): a real smile can actually be faked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Wait, WHAT!?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s true: In a 2009 study, participants were given a picture of someone smiling with a genuine Duchenne smile. And here\u2019s the kicker: when researchers told the participants to copy it, 71% of them accurately replicated it (and chances are, you probably can, too!).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But here\u2019s the thing: The study also showed that most people who viewed pictures of Duchenne smiles vs fake smiles agreed the Duchenne smile is more authentic (even if it\u2019s faked), while the \u201cfake\u201d smile is not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In other words\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>People can\u2019t tell if you fake a real smile. Yet, you can make a long-lasting impression if you pull it off when greeting someone.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>So if you want to stand out above the crowd, here are <strong>3 steps to pull off that genuine smile in every social situation<\/strong> :<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Think of something really funny (having a hard time? Check out our laughter lunch article).<\/li><li>Smile\u2014preferably in front of a mirror feeling your cheek muscles moving up.<\/li><li>Make that smile lift higher, bringing your cheek muscles up until your eye muscles are crinkled.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Voil\u00e0! You\u2019ve done it. A great, dazzling smile you can use when meeting people that\u2019ll leave a wonderful first impression.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Step #7: Perfect Your Handshake<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><br>A handshake, which occurs at the beginning of almost every business transaction or meeting, tells you more than you realize.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<div class=\"flex-video widescreen youtube\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"The Science of the Perfect Handshake\" width=\"1170\" height=\"658\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/0YLXBUxHgjw?feature=oembed&#038;showinfo=0&#038;rel=0&#038;modestbranding=1\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Research has found that people can judge our personality from handshakes alone. <strong>What does yours say?<\/strong> Be sure to get it right with our steps. A handshake is the first nonverbal touchpoint you have with someone. When talking about first impressions, we have to focus a lot on the nonverbal. Why? Our nonverbal signals are 12 to 13 times more influential than accompanying words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Our goal is that your nonverbal shows whoever you\u2019re interacting with that you\u2019re calm, confident, and powerful. How do you do this? With a launch stance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Step #8: Stand in a Launch Position<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><br>\u201cStraighten your back!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cNo elbows on the table!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cDon\u2019t forget to eat your peas!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Oops, sorry there. I was having flashbacks from my mother for a moment. And if you\u2019re anything like me, you might have heard these phrases in your household when growing up\u2014or even still do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But your stance is actually more important than your posture. And there\u2019s one very powerful way you can stand to dramatically make a difference in your first impression.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I call it your launch stance. Your launch stance has 5 focal points:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scienceofpeople.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Launch-Stance-1024x576.png\" alt=\"Standing in a launch stance has a great impact on your first impressions.\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Toes<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><br>If your toes are pointed toward someone, it means that you\u2019re interested in hearing what he or she has to say. Even if you\u2019re sitting, it\u2019s important to point your toes towards them to show interest in them.<br>Hands Your hands should always be visible and ideally open as you speak. Biologically, we feel fear when we see someone\u2019s hands are concealed\u2014as if they may be hiding a weapon. Hand gestures (covered below) should also be utilized.<br><br><strong>Arms <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Arms should always be loose so there is enough space between your torso and arms. This helps prevent you from leaving your arms dangling at the side, and lets you easily gesture and reach out to shake hands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><br><strong>Shoulders <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Shoulders should be down and back so they look nice and relaxed. The ideal angle for your shoulders depends on who you\u2019re speaking with\u2014if speaking to a woman, having your shoulders parallel to theirs is fine. Men may be more comfortable standing shoulder-to-shoulder rather than directly in front of you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><br><strong>Chin <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Your chin should ideally be neutral so you are not looking up at someone or sneering down at them. However, body language experts Barbara and Allan Pease have noted that women who lowered their chin while looking up at men appear smaller (and thus more feminine), while men who angled their chin upwards when talking to women appeared taller, thus creating greater attraction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Your toes, hands, arms, shoulders, and chin probably were not the body parts you were thinking of during a first impression. But they should be! These are also what you want to focus on while taking the perfect selfie!\u00a0<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Step #9: Give Them a Coffee<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Oh, but what if you\u2019re standing there in your perfect Launch Position, ready to give the best impression ever\u2014but the other person has his or her arms crossed?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Crossed arms is one of the biggest body language barriers to look out for\u2014arms are basically a big barrier to deep connection, and you can bet if someone crosses their arms while talking to you they\u2019re not willing to open up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So here\u2019s what you can do: give them something to hold. A coffee. A business card. A pen. Anything that forces them to open up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Why does this work? Because we feel through our bodies:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Forcing a smile actually makes you happier.<\/li><li>Distancing yourself from others makes you feel more isolated.<\/li><li>Crossing your arms makes you feel more closed off.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><br>More body language tips can be found in our Body Language Guide.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Step #10: Use Your Ideal Voice<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><br>\u201cI urge you to vote for me this November.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This was the phrase that researchers at Duke University and the University of Miami asked participants to say to find out exactly what makes a voice so likable. The study went like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Both men and women were recorded saying the above phrase.<\/li><li>Their voice was then digitally manipulated to be either a higher- or lower-pitched version of the original.<\/li><li>Different men and women were then asked to vote which voice they thought would make a better leader.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Can you guess which voice won out? Was it the lower-pitched voice, or the higher one?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you guessed lower-pitch\u2026 Bingo!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And here\u2019s the most interesting part: you might think that people preferred higher-pitched women\u2019s voices. In actuality, BOTH men&#8217;s and women\u2019s lower voices were more favored than their higher-pitched voices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Lower-pitched voices were voted more favorably than the higher-pitched voices, for both men and women.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>But you probably shouldn\u2019t fake a deep voice and run around talking to people like you\u2019re Frankenstein, right? Alas, we have something called your maximum resonance point! This is your ideal vocal range where your voice shines, sounds like a leader, and most importantly\u2014you sound natural!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You should aim to speak in this range\u2014and even err on the lower end of your range if you want to make a great vocal impression that people will vote for. This is also a great tip if you have a phone interview or video call!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Step #11: Repeat Their Name<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><br>One of my all-time favorite books, How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, has an awesome tip that I use in every single conversation: use the other person\u2019s name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scienceofpeople.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/d9dcf6dbf7e6cc87408360a4e2eccb1746204da6-2-1024x594.png\" alt=\"Dale Carnegie Quote, &quot;The average person is more interested in their own name than in all the other names in the world put together.&quot;\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Here\u2019s the science<\/strong>: when someone hears their own name, unique parts of the brain are activated. But they\u2019re not when hearing others\u2019 names. Use this to your advantage to name-slip someone\u2019s name during your conversations!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Here\u2019s how to do it<\/strong>: Right after the person introduces him- or herself, I like to immediately repeat their name: \u201cJohn, it\u2019s a pleasure to meet you!\u201d Sprinkling in their name throughout the conversation every few minutes also keeps that dopamine boost going:\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>\u201cJohn, I have a friend I want to introduce to you.\u201d\u00a0<\/li><li>\u201cThat\u2019s a really good insight, John.\u201d<\/li><li>\u201cNice to meet you, John!\u201d<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><br><strong>Fun fact:<\/strong> Even cats can distinguish their own name, according to a Japanese study.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Step #12: Copy Their Lingo<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><br>You know the phrase, \u201cSticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I have to say\u2026 Words CAN hurt. And they can even create stronger emotions, if you know the right magical words to say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Behavior expert Chase Hughes mentions 2 important types of words you can use to instantly build rapport with anyone you meet: sensory and adjective words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The first group of words is sensory. People use different types of words depending on how they best experience the world based on their senses or primary intelligence type.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In other words, most people favor one of their 5 senses more than the other ones. For example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Hearing: A musician may use phrases such as, \u201cThat sounds great\u201d and \u201cI hear what you\u2019re saying.\u201d<\/li><li>Touch: A personal trainer might use phrases like \u201cI feel you,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m touched,\u201d and \u201cThat rubs me the wrong way.\u201d<\/li><li>Sight: A painter may use, \u201cI can see that,\u201d \u201cIt looks good,\u201d and \u201ceye-to-eye.\u201d<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><br>If you hear your conversation buddy using one of these phrases, you can also use similar sense lingo to get on their good side. In fact, I used this same technique just last week when I got off a Zoom call with a team member. It went something like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Kensi: \u201cOK, sounds good!\u201d<\/li><li>Vanessa: \u201cGreat! I can\u2019t wait to hear back from you!\u201d<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><br>The next group of words stands for adjectives. You know how some people LOVE to use certain adjectives in their vocabulary, like \u201camazing,\u201d \u201ccool,\u201d or \u201csuper\u201d?\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Good news is, you can also use their positive words to make things even more\u2026 er, positive! Here\u2019s a story of how I used someone else\u2019s lingo to gain rapport:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A while back, I met this one woman named Sarah at a networking event. We got on the topic of other interesting people we met at the event, and I noticed she would always sprinkle in the word \u201ccool\u201d whenever she mentioned someone positive. When it was my turn to talk about people I connected with, I also threw in the word \u201ccool\u201d to match her positive lingo. I immediately noticed her eyes light up whenever I used the word. It worked so well that we ended up having dinner afterward\u2014Sarah and I even keep in touch to this day!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And you can even use this same technique with negative words, using their same negative lingo to describe things you both dislike.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Step #13: Start Amazing Conversation<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Whew! So you got a grip on your nonverbals. Nice\u2014so how do you have non-awkward, anti-boring conversations?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It turns out, the art of sparking amazing conversations is one of the most highly-requested topics at the Science of People. And I want to help you get started today. You don\u2019t have to be naturally-charismatic or a gifted speaker\u2014anyone can learn to hold sparkling conversations and win people over!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Step #14: Crack a Joke<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scienceofpeople.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/42051f56b7116acaeb81d9e6f90cc4de64395323-3-1024x572.png\" alt=\"Norman Cousins Quote: &quot;Laughter is a good way to jog internally without having to go outdoors.&quot;\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>It was 1964, and Norman Cousins refused to die. He was diagnosed with a life-threatening disease that would give him only a few months to live.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to the doc, it was a clear-cut case of ankylosing spondylitis. Or, in English, a lifelong condition that causes pain and stiffness in the spine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Horrified with this newly-diagnosed condition, Norman refused to believe this was the end of his life. He was determined to live.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Norman was desperate and traditional medicine wouldn\u2019t help, so he decided to turn to laughter. He rented every funny video he could find, rewatched and watched them, laughing out loud for 6 months in his self-imposed \u201claughter therapy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And the miracle that doctors couldn\u2019t believe happened:\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Norman\u2019s life-threatening disease had completely vanished, all because of laughter.*<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>According to the Peases, this was in part due to the flood of endorphins we receive when laughing\u2014endorphins that are similar to the drugs morphine and heroin. The endorphins act as a tranquilizer and build up the body and its immune system. This is also why happy people rarely get sick, and people who complain a lot are the ones who often get ill.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In your first impressions, humor should be a top priority.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>How to Be Funny&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>*Note: If you have a serious medical condition, it\u2019s still probably wise to consult a medical professional instead of using laughter therapy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Step #15: Make Them Feel Important<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><br>In the book, Million Dollar Habits, Brian Tracy tells of a tale called The Arabian Nights, which tells of a huge cave full of treasures that can only be opened on one condition\u2014one lucky person must say the magical words, \u201cOpen Sesame!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Once uttered, the vast wall would finally open, revealing the unlimited treasures hidden inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And guess what? There are also magical words you can say to other people, revealing their \u201ctreasures\u201d of warm emotions and fuzziness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Tracy, these words are words that make others feel important and strike at their emotional chords.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scienceofpeople.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/22615001f84be32b5e0710aa30876272459159eb-2-1024x597.png\" alt=\"Brian Tracy Quote, &quot;The true answer is that people are 100 percent emotional. People decide emotionally and then justify it logically. But emotion comes first.&quot;\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>One of the best ways I have found to make others feel this important is to give compliments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Studies even show that giving someone a compliment activates the same neurons in our brain as receiving a physical gift.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But you can\u2019t just give compliments out like candy, nor can you keep cookie-cutter compliments in your back pocket and pull them out willy-nilly\u2014imagine if you complimented a bald guy on his hairstyle!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The key to compliments is genuineness\u2014people can sniff a fake compliment a million miles away. Compliment someone on their new shoes, their physique, their way of thinking. Anything is fair game, as long as you really mean it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Step #16: Pick Your Ornaments<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Clothes, makeup, jewelry, watches, and shoes are all types of ornamentation, and people definitely take these into account when making initial judgments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I highly recommend getting some of your favorite outfits or ornaments together and asking friends you trust what they think of when they see them. For many men, they do not realize that their watch can say a lot about them. For women, purses and large earrings or jewelry can also have unintended meaning to a new person they are meeting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are 6 appearance hacks you can use to make a great first impression:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow\">\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Chew gum<\/strong>. Did you know, contrary to popular belief, chewing gum has a lot of positive perceptions attached to it? Uh-oh, all those mommas who told their kids to spit out their gum when talking might have been wrong. Food company Beldant conducted a study of 481 participants, in which 73% favored those who chewed gum and associated it with a ton of positive traits. People thought those who chewed gum:<ul><li>Got invited to more parties<\/li><li>Had more friends<\/li><li>Would seem more likely to give them a raise (if they were the boss)<br>\u2026and even had a better sex life<br><br>Just make sure not to chew gum during an interview. You can watch the interesting experiment below:<br><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<div class=\"flex-video widescreen youtube\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Beldent Almost identical\" width=\"1170\" height=\"658\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/sk7A56KVNBY?feature=oembed&#038;showinfo=0&#038;rel=0&#038;modestbranding=1\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Dress to impress.<\/strong> In a 2012 paper by Hajo Adam and Adam Galinsky, the idea of \u201cenclothed cognition,\u201d ie, whether our clothes affect our thoughts, was studied. In one experiment, participants wore either a doctor\u2019s coat or a painter\u2019s coat, and the group wearing the doctor\u2019s coat performed better at tasks all across the board!<br><\/li><li><strong>Wear makeup<\/strong>. If you\u2019re a woman, in most cases makeup will help you. In an experiment by the Peases, 4 similar-looking female assistants were hired to help sell their training products at a seminar. However, some were wearing makeup and\/or glasses, and the others weren\u2019t. The assistant wearing both makeup and glasses were described as confident, intelligent, sophisticated, and the most outgoing; however, some female customers saw her as confident but also cold and arrogant as they saw her as \u201ccompetition\u201d rather than a possible friend. And, not surprisingly, assistants who wore no makeup were rated the worst.<br><\/li><li><strong>Find your fragrance.<\/strong> In a 2016 study, 67 observers assessed samples of odors from 113 odor donors, who each provided one sample without cosmetics and another sample with it. The observers rated the odors with cosmetic fragrance as more attractive and pleasant than those without them. And if you\u2019re wondering which perfume to use, it\u2019s best to go with a typically masculine-smelling cologne if you\u2019re a man, and a feminine perfume if you\u2019re a woman, according to a study from researchers at Northumbria University. They found that gender-congruent fragrances can increase the perception of certain socially desirable characteristics, such as intelligence.<br><\/li><li><strong>Wear glasses.<\/strong> Another twin study conducted by eye company Execuspecs found that 76% of people who watched twins on television favored the twin that wore glasses (surprise: the \u201ctwins\u201d were actually the same person). Glasses were associated with higher income, better time management skills, and better computer-solving abilities<br><\/li><li><strong>Ditch the piercings.<\/strong> For men, studies show that wearing jewelry lowers credibility and nose rings decrease hireability. Another study found that patients associated nontraditional piercings negatively in regards to a physician\u2019s competence and trustworthiness.\u00a0<\/li><\/ul>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Important note:<\/strong> Context matters when dealing with your appearance. It might be a great idea to don your expensive suit and Rolex when interviewing for a job position at Charles Schwab. But do that in a relaxed college campus environment? You might come off as too show-offy and rub people the wrong way. It might be a good idea to play \u201cchameleon\u201d\u2014 that is, dress like how others are going to dress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I have my 10 favorite clothing hacks you can learn as well. Make sure that what you are wearing and how you do your hair or makeup says what you WANT it to say to the people you are meeting for the first time. Even colors tend to have different meanings.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Step #17: Avoid Your Bad Days<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Believe me, I want you to socialize. But I also want you to do it on your time. You might think that going out will make you feel better. But in my experience, people who go to cocktail events or mixers after having had a bad day typically continue to have a bad day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you are in a depressed or anxious mood, others will pick up on this from your facial expressions, comments, and body language. You might even leave the event feeling more negative than if you stayed inside!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>So here\u2019s my plea for you:<\/strong> If you\u2019re having a bad day, stay home!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There is almost no way to make a good first impression if you are having a bad day. If you have to go to an event, find a way to snap yourself out of your bad mood. I find working out, calling a friend, or watching funny or inspiring TED talks before events often gets me in a more social, feel-good mood.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Check out my video on pre-performance rituals to get pumped up:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<div class=\"flex-video widescreen youtube\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"How to Psych Yourself Up Before Your Next Big Thing\" width=\"1170\" height=\"658\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/xEZJ8Jxfe-c?feature=oembed&#038;showinfo=0&#038;rel=0&#038;modestbranding=1\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Step #18: Have a Great LAST Impression<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><br>How many times have you wanted to end a conversation, but it turned out something like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>\u201cHey, so\u2026 Gotta run, hahaha\u2026\u201d<\/li><li><em>Nervous glances towards the exit<\/em><\/li><li><em>Nodding your head in uncomfortable silence<\/em><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><br>This is a GREAT way to make an awkward first impression, no matter how many good things you ticked in your conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019ve made so many awkward fumbling exits and learned the hard way\u2014so you don\u2019t have to. I hope this video and guide can help you masterfully and graciously end ANY conversation:\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<div class=\"flex-video widescreen youtube\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"How to End a Conversation and Gracefully Exit Any Awkward Situation\" width=\"1170\" height=\"658\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/yJG--x80VxI?feature=oembed&#038;showinfo=0&#038;rel=0&#038;modestbranding=1\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How to Fix a Bad First Impression<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Okay, so you\u2019ve made a bad first impression. No worries! We\u2019ve all been there. Here\u2019s the good news: You CAN fix a bad first impression! Here\u2019s a story where I overcame a bad first impression:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So the other day, I ran into someone I haven\u2019t seen in a couple years. Immediately, I was struck with anxiety, nerves, and insecurity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I realized the very first time I met him, I did not make a good first impression. I was having one of those days where I should have just stayed at home, ate ice cream, and watched Netflix.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But\u2014nope! Instead, I was like, \u201cI better go to this networking event because I signed up and spent 5 whole dollars!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So I went to the networking event and was drained and tired. Long story short, it was not so pleasant. I realized I had to overcome a bad first impression. Here\u2019s how to recover from a bad first impression:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<div class=\"flex-video widescreen youtube\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"How to Overcome a Bad First Impression\" width=\"1170\" height=\"658\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/8zE1OAxw5Ms?feature=oembed&#038;showinfo=0&#038;rel=0&#038;modestbranding=1\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Acknowledge the bad.<\/strong> Don\u2019t shy away from the bad first impression. If you show you\u2019re not afraid of talking about the bad first impression you made, you show a little vulnerability. And you might even be able to look back and laugh at it!<br><\/li><li><strong>Change the setting.<\/strong> Sometimes a bad first impression can be hard to overcome if you\u2019re at the same or similar place as where you made it. Try going to a different setting! It can totally change the interactions you have.<br><\/li><li><strong>Ask for help.<\/strong> The \u201cFranklin Effect,\u201d named after Benjamin Franklin, is a psychological effect that makes people like you more! Ask them for help, advice, etc. and you\u2019ll not only receive their tips, but bond together in the process!<br><\/li><li><strong>Stop the social scripts.<\/strong> Social scripts are the same boring convo phrases we\u2019ve all heard before. \u201cWhat do you do?\u201d \u201cWhere are you from?\u201d These questions are boring because we\u2019ve all heard them before, and nothing NEW is activated in our brains. Instead, you want to trigger dopamine by asking a great conversation starter. <br><\/li><li><strong>Tell them you like them.<\/strong> This might sound counterintuitive, but science shows telling people you like them actually strengthens relationships! Most people withhold their fondness for each other, but that also makes the other person you\u2019re conversing with withhold their feelings, too! I don\u2019t usually say \u201cI like you\u201d straightforwardly, but I\u2019ll do it more subtly\u2014for example, by texting them, \u201cI was just thinking about you\u201d after our initial conversation. The key here is actually being genuine, so don\u2019t say it if you don\u2019t mean it!<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What\u2019s Comes After a Captivating First Impression?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Don\u2019t be boring. I want you to have stimulating, eye-opening and FRICKIN\u2019 fascinating first impressions and conversations.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>First impressions are everything. You only get one chance to introduce yourself. Learn the science of first impressions to make yours count. First impressions are everything. The science proves it: most people make a first impression of a person within 7 seconds so you have to make it count. In this post, I want to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2965,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2937","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2937","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2937"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2937\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2954,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2937\/revisions\/2954"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2965"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2937"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2937"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2937"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}