{"id":2875,"date":"2021-11-21T16:54:13","date_gmt":"2021-11-21T16:54:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/?p=2875"},"modified":"2021-11-21T16:54:15","modified_gmt":"2021-11-21T16:54:15","slug":"love-money-financial-talks-for-every-stage-of-your-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/2021\/11\/21\/love-money-financial-talks-for-every-stage-of-your-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"Love & Money: Financial Talks For Every Stage Of Your Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

<\/a>Maya Kachroo-Levine, Mar 27, 2017<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Source: https:\/\/www.forbes.com\/sites\/mayakachroolevine\/2017\/03\/27\/love-money-financial-talks-to-have-at-every-stage-of-your-relationship\/?sh=653a0f74b769<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When do you start talking about money in a relationship? While financial compatibility in a relationship is important, no one wants to explain their 10-year student loan payment plan on a first date. Nevertheless, money habits (especially the less-than-favorable ones) and debt should be out in the open long before a couple moves in together or gets engaged, in my opinion. Similarly, within the first year or two, I think it\u2019s relatively easy to gauge whether your financial values align. If one person is pushing for an all-inclusive resort vacation in Tahiti, while the other would rather take a local weekend camping trip, it\u2019s worth discussing the difference in spending styles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For me, financial compatibility is not about how much my partner makes or how much debt he has, but about how he chooses to spend his money and approach savings. I honestly don\u2019t think I would see a future with someone who spends $50 at a bar every weekend but isn\u2019t saving any money,\u00a0simply because that\u2019s not compatible with my relationship to money.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because\u00a0money is the \u201cleading cause\u201d of strain in relationships, it\u2019s important to get comfortable talking about money with your partner in an open and non-judgmental way. To help navigate these love and money conversations, I outlined five financial conversations and when you should have them in a relationship. I then asked two financial professionals about each conversation and when it should come up. Ben Barzideh is a wealth advisor at Piershale Financial Group, a wealth management firm just outside of Chicago, and Kimberly Foss is a certified financial planner and president of California-based\u00a0Empyrion Wealth Management. Here\u2019s what they had to say about these five financial conversations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Financial conversation:<\/strong> How much debt do you have?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When to have it:<\/strong> When it starts to \u201cget serious,\u201d which will be different for everyone, but likely in the first two years of a relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Foss:<\/strong> ‘Fess up about the debt too soon and you risk scaring that special someone away. However, if you wait too long, it can complicate things. If you are becoming very serious in your relationship, it is time to speak up. [If you carry a lot of debt], think of the roles being reversed \u2014 wouldn\u2019t you want to know? You might be surprised just how understanding and open your partner is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Financial conversation:<\/strong> Are our money habits compatible? If not, how can we meet each other halfway?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When to have it:<\/strong> When it starts to get serious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Foss:<\/strong> Some people are spenders and some are savers. This might seem harmless with small-scale purchases, but it will be a hurdle to overcome when financial obligations and necessities [come into play]. Similar to discussions about disclosing debt, honest communication about your attitude toward money can bring understanding and harmony to financial decisions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Barzideh:<\/strong> You find out if your financial practices are compatible with your partner\u2019s by having an open conversation to assess where you agree and where you disagree. The areas of disagreement need to be compromised on in order for the relationship to [progress] smoothly. It\u2019s important to be considerate and respectful of your partner\u2019s wishes and habits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Financial conversation:<\/strong> What are your future money goals?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When to have it:<\/strong> Before moving in together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Barzideh:<\/strong>\u00a0In the first five years of a relationship, there needs to be a lot of open communication about every aspect of your current financial picture and also your vision for the future. One of the most critical components of a successful relationship is communication, which absolutely pertains to finances.\u00a0It\u2019s very important to create an accurate snapshot of [your] current financial situation.\u00a0Identify core values, goals, and priorities. Basically [ask each other], what are you looking to do with your money and your life?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Financial conversation:<\/strong> What\u2019s mine and what\u2019s yours? What happens to our shared purchases if we break up?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When to have it:<\/strong> Before moving it together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Foss:<\/strong> Until you are married, keep major purchases separate and documented. Because you don’t have the same legal protections as married couples in case of a split, it’s a good idea to keep track of who paid what toward every major purchase. Detail out a \u201cyours, mine and ours\u201d list of furniture and household items when you move in together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Financial conversation:<\/strong> Do we want to merge our finances?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When to have it:<\/strong> Around the time of engagement \u2014 or after at least a year of living together if you see each other as life partners but don’t plan on getting married.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Foss:\u00a0<\/strong>Couples should do what\u2019s right for them.\u00a0I have a client who says she will never marry her significant other and never combine finances with him. I have another client who combined finances with her now-husband shortly after they were engaged. Typically, I recommend keeping finances separate until the knot is tied as the laws apply differently to married couples as opposed to two people cohabiting. If you do combine finances before marriage, [I recommend] leaving some accounts\u00a0separate for personal needs or gifts and drafting an agreement (define who \u201cowns\u201d each financial account) before any finances are combined. It may or may not help you legally in the event of a nasty breakup, but it\u2019s better than nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Maya Kachroo-Levine, Mar 27, 2017 Source: https:\/\/www.forbes.com\/sites\/mayakachroolevine\/2017\/03\/27\/love-money-financial-talks-to-have-at-every-stage-of-your-relationship\/?sh=653a0f74b769 When do you start talking about money in a relationship? While financial compatibility in a relationship is important, no one wants to explain their 10-year student loan payment plan on a first date. Nevertheless, money habits (especially the less-than-favorable ones) and debt should be out in the open […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2876,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1103,564,1120],"tags":[608,1152,1151,1147],"class_list":["post-2875","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-beyondchai","category-featured-posts","category-healthy-relationships","tag-marriage-advice","tag-muslim-website-for-marriage","tag-online-dating-service-for-muslims","tag-single-muslims"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2875","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2875"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2875\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2878,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2875\/revisions\/2878"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2876"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2875"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2875"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2875"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}