By\u00a0Elizabeth Scott, MS<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Medically reviewed by\u00a0Carly Snyder, MD\u00a0on August 22, 2020<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Source: https:\/\/www.verywellmind.com\/conflict-resolution-skills-for-healthy-relationships-3144953<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n Conflict is a predictable part of virtually all relationships. It can also be a significant source of stress.\u00a0Therefore, with most\u00a0conflicts, it\u2019s important to find a resolution. This seems like a statement of the obvious, but many people suppress their anger or just \u2018go along to get along.’ Some think that by addressing a conflict, they are creating one, and simply keep quiet when upset.1<\/sup> Unfortunately, this isn\u2019t a healthy long-term strategy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Unresolved conflict can lead to resentment and additional\u00a0unresolved conflict\u00a0in the relationship.2<\/sup> Even more important, ongoing conflict can actually have a negative impact on your health and longevity.3<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n Unfortunately, resolving conflict can be tricky as well. Handled improperly, attempts at conflict resolution can actually make the conflict worse.4<\/sup>\ufeff For example, researcher John Gottman and his colleagues studied the way couples fight, and can actually predict which couples will go on to divorce by observing their conflict resolution skills\u2014or lack thereof.5<\/sup>\ufeff (Hint: Couples who are constantly criticizing their partner\u2019s character, or shutting down during arguments rather than working through conflict in a proactive, respectful way, should watch out.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n For those who weren\u2019t born into a family where perfect conflict resolution skills were modeled on a daily basis (and\u2014let\u2019s face it\u2014how many of us were?), here are some guidelines to make\u00a0conflict resolution\u00a0more simple and less stressful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n An important component of conflict resolution involves only you\u2014knowing how you feel and why you feel that way.4<\/sup>\ufeff It may seem that your feelings should already be obvious to you, but this isn\u2019t always the case. Sometimes you feel angry or resentful, but don\u2019t know why. Other times, you feel that the other person isn\u2019t doing what they \u2018should,\u2019 but you aren\u2019t aware of exactly what you want from them, or if it\u2019s even reasonable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Journaling can be an effective way to get in touch with your own feelings, thoughts, and expectations so you are better able to communicate them to the other person.6<\/sup> Sometimes this process brings up some pretty heavy issues, and psychotherapy can be helpful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When it comes to effective conflict resolution, how effectively we listen is at least as important as how effectively we express ourselves.2<\/sup> It\u2019s vital to understand the other person\u2019s perspective, rather than just our own if we are to come to a resolution. In fact, just helping the other person feel heard and understood can sometimes go a long way toward the resolution of a conflict. Good listening also helps for you to be able to\u00a0bridge the gap\u00a0between the two of you, understand where the disconnect lies, etc.2<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n Unfortunately, active listening is a skill that not everybody knows, and it\u2019s common for people to think they\u2019re listening, while in their heads they\u2019re actually formulating their next response, thinking to themselves how wrong the other person is, or doing things other than trying to understand the other person\u2019s perspective. It\u2019s also common to be so defensive and entrenched in your own perspective that you literally can\u2019t hear the other person\u2019s point of view.2<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n Communicating your feelings and needs clearly is also an important aspect of conflict resolution.2<\/sup>\ufeff As you probably know, saying the wrong thing can be like throwing fuel on a fire, and make a conflict worse. The important thing to remember is to say what\u2019s on your mind in a way that is clear and assertive, without being aggressive or putting the other person on the defensive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One effective conflict resolution strategy is to put things in terms of how you feel rather than what you think the other person is doing wrong, using \u2018I feel\u2019 statements.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Once you understand the other person\u2019s perspective, and they understand yours, it\u2019s time to find a resolution to the conflict\u2014a solution you both can live with.2<\/sup>\ufeff Sometimes a simple and obvious answer comes up once both parties understand the other person\u2019s perspective. In cases where the conflict was based on a misunderstanding or a lack of insight to the other\u2019s point of view, a simple apology can work wonders, and an open discussion can bring people closer together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Other times, there is a little more work required. In cases where there\u2019s a conflict about an issue and both people don\u2019t agree, you have a few options: Sometimes you can agree to disagree, other times you can find a compromise or middle ground, and in other cases the person who feels more strongly about an issue may get their way, with the understanding that they will concede the next time. The important thing is to come to a place of understanding and try to work things out in a way that\u2019s respectful to all involved.2<\/sup>\ufeff<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because of the toll that ongoing conflict can exact from a person, sometimes it\u2019s advisable to put some distance in the relationship or cut ties completely.1<\/sup>\ufeff<\/p>\n\n\n\n In cases of abuse, simple conflict resolution techniques can only take you so far, and personal safety needs to take priority.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When dealing with difficult family members, on the other hand, adding a few boundaries and accepting the other person\u2019s limitations in the relationship can bring some peace. In friendships that are unsupportive or characterized by ongoing conflict,\u00a0letting go\u00a0may be a great source of\u00a0stress relief.5<\/sup> Only you can decide if a relationship can be improved, or should be let go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n By\u00a0Elizabeth Scott, MS Medically reviewed by\u00a0Carly Snyder, MD\u00a0on August 22, 2020 Source: https:\/\/www.verywellmind.com\/conflict-resolution-skills-for-healthy-relationships-3144953 Conflict is a predictable part of virtually all relationships. It can also be a significant source of stress.\u00a0Therefore, with most\u00a0conflicts, it\u2019s important to find a resolution. This seems like a statement of the obvious, but many people suppress their anger or just […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2768,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[564,1120],"tags":[608,1152,1154,1147],"class_list":["post-2767","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-featured-posts","category-healthy-relationships","tag-marriage-advice","tag-muslim-website-for-marriage","tag-online-dating-service-for-marriage","tag-single-muslims"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2767","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2767"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2767\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2770,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2767\/revisions\/2770"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2768"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2767"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2767"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondchai.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2767"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Get in Touch With Your Feelings<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Hone Your Listening Skills<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Practice Assertive Communication<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Seek a Solution<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Know When It\u2019s Not Working<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Article Sources<\/h5>\n\n\n\n