By Zach Brittle<\/p>\n
For almost twenty years, my wife and I have been locked in this playful but serious debate about who is smarter. I\u2019m book-smart. I\u2019m the high achiever with the fancy degrees. I read a lot and write things that somehow show up on the Internet. She\u2019s street-smart. She knows how to get stuff done. She knows how to cook. And read a map. And throw a party\u00a0. . .\u00a0not just the details, but the actual being at the party. If she learns something, she knows it forever.<\/p>\n
But there\u2019s a form of \u201csmart\u201d that we\u2019ve both been working on for twenty years, and it has made a huge difference in our relationship: Emotional Intelligence (EQ). To be honest and fair, my wife has a huge advantage here. She\u2019s gifted, but I\u2019m getting better. I spent most of the first half of my life not being attuned to the emotional landscape around me. It cost me a lot\u2014I got fired and dumped and \u201cunfriended\u201d a lot\u2014but over the past ten years or so, I\u2019ve come to realize that EQ is as, if not more than, important as intellectual or academic intelligence.<\/p>\n
EQ measures your ability to recognize and respond to the emotional conditions of your relationships. The good news is that unlike IQ, EQ is actually something you can improve throughout your lifetime. At its core, it\u2019s really about just two things: awareness and action. The sooner you get a head start on building this skill, the better for you and your marriage.<\/p>\n