The wedding industry, that beast of a machine, is built around selling you lots of PRETTY. Pick up any wedding magazine, and you\u2019ll see page after page of dresses, centerpieces, favors, personalized everything (did you know that wedding toilet paper is an actual product you can buy?), and other things designed to \u201cwow\u201d your guests, but, oddly, very little information about how to make sure your guests have fun at your wedding. Which is odd, because when planning any other party, the main question on most people\u2019s minds is, \u201cHey, how can I make this fun? (And what are we going to feed these people?)\u201d But that doesn\u2019t mean that people don\u2019t want their weddings to be fun. One of the questions on my intake form for new clients is, \u201cWhat are your top priorities for your wedding?\u201d The most common answers (because my clients are rad) are:<\/p>\n
That our guests are comfortable
\nThat the wedding is a ton of fun (for everyone, including us)
\nSo how exactly does one have a fun wedding? That, my friends, is the million-dollar question. If the wedding industry at large were to offer an answer, it would end up looking like some kind of fancy version of Burning Man, with a cigar roller! And a belly dancer! And a brass band! And a gospel choir! And a face-painting station! And a fortune-teller! And a photo booth! And while a wedding with all those things would probably be really fun (if a little manic), it\u2019s very possible to create fun without a three-ring circus.<\/p>\n
MAKE SURE PEOPLE KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT<\/strong><\/p>\n Making sure your guests know what to expect is the key element in having a wedding that people enjoy. Are both the ceremony and reception on grass or rocky ground? Let people know so that they can choose their footwear appropriately. This is also true when it comes to temperature. For example, in coastal Northern California it gets cold almost every night, even if it\u2019s ninety-degrees during the day. So if you have a lot of guests coming from out of state, they\u2019ll need to be informed ahead of time to bring a jacket (because unlike the more touristy parts of San Francisco, I doubt there will be overpriced Golden Gate Bridge-branded fleece jackets for sale at your wedding). Formality level comes into play here too. While you shouldn\u2019t dictate exactly what your guests wear, very few people like showing up either extremely over- or under-dressed for an event, so giving a heads up on the general dress code is appreciated, whether that\u2019s black tie or county-park casual (and maybe especially important if you\u2019re doing black tie in a county park).<\/p>\n Beyond weather and what to wear, it\u2019s nice for guests to know what you\u2019re going to want them to do. Need help breaking down tables at the end of the night? My experience is that if you tell people ahead of time, they will be there with bells (or stocking feet) on. But spring this on them right before they grab their bags to get on the shuttle home? They\u2019ll probably still help, because they love you, but some grumbling is also pretty guaranteed. I mean, I can break down chairs until the cows come home, but if I find out I have to do it after I\u2019ve already started preparing myself to go home to take a bubble bath? The enthusiasm level is going to be on the waning side. This goes doubly for your family and your wedding party\u2014the more you let them know in advance what your expectations are, whether that\u2019s, \u201cWe really want you to just be guests and enjoy yourselves,\u201d or \u201cWe\u2019re going to have a ton of things we\u2019ll need help with and would appreciate all hands on deck,\u201d the more people are going to be in the right mood and mindset to both act and enjoy themselves accordingly.<\/p>\n FEED PEOPLE. FEED THEM ON TIME.<\/strong><\/p>\n One of my first rules for any party is this: do not let your guests be hungry. Because hungry quickly turns into hangry, and well, it\u2019s pretty hard to enjoy yourself when you\u2019re hangry. Does this mean you have to serve a full meal? Nope! You just need to serve one if you\u2019ve set guests up to expect one. So, if your reception is, say, from 2\u20135 p.m., most people will infer that there won\u2019t be a meal served and will eat before and\/or plan on eating after. The same would go with a 9 p.m.\u2013midnight reception. You can also hold a reception at another time and advertise that it\u2019s not going to involve a full meal. \u201cPlease join us for appetizers and drinks from 5 p.m.\u20138 p.m.,\u201d or \u201cDessert reception to follow,\u201d or \u201cCake and punch after the ceremony,\u201d or any other wording describing the fact that people should not expect to eat a meal. The opposite side of this is, of course, that if you\u2019re having a 4 p.m. ceremony \u201cwith reception to follow\u201d and are planning on the reception going until 10 p.m., you very, very definitely need to feed people dinner. It doesn\u2019t have to be fancy (who doesn\u2019t love tacos or burgers? Not anyone I want at a party) but it does have to be filling. See: hangry.<\/p>\n OKAY, GOT IT, BUT WHAT DO WE DO TO MAKE SURE IT\u2019S FUN?<\/strong><\/p>\n The problem with this question is that everyone has a different definition of what fun is. Because while a booze-and-drug-fueled, dance-till-the-sun-comes-up party defines it for some people, for others that\u2019s some kind of nightmare and an intimate dinner party with board games sounds way more fun, thankyouverymuch. If forced to name the ten most fun weddings I\u2019ve encountered, you\u2019d see both of those, and a bunch of weddings that were somewhere in the great space in between. But what all of them had in common were that they were incredibly authentic to the couple, and to the largest part of their social circle, and hence, largest chunk of their guests. Not the giant dance party types? It\u2019s highly unlikely that you\u2019ve ended up with a group of friends who are, so please feel free to go ahead and skip the loud music. Totally the giant dance party types? Bring. It. On. (And leave the board games at home.) As with most things in life\u2014knowing your crowd is key.<\/p>\n